Retire and just get past the time?
Iām going to finish my degree through the ou!
Iād also like a part time job!
I had really big plans to finish school to do 1 interior design or 2 become a survivalist instructor.
I donāt see myself w much of a future now.
Heading for the grave with nothing to my credit except a marriage relationship and raising a daughter. A few weeks ago, I applied for a volunteer job in mental health, but nothing forthcoming while they check or have checked my background.
I told the therapist some days I have no hope, and just wish to retire to disability.
She says
Being grateful for disability is a good coping skill for having a bad day, week, or month.
But never give up on your dreams.
Iām working hard right now trying to get everything in order to one day work in the mental health field
Iām probably going to do what I do best for about 2 years. Writing. My old therapist from what my parents just thought was depression told me that writing was my coping skill to any of my anger or sadness⦠Although. Iād really now hope to get something in editing for videos for YouTube channels and such.
I dont knowā¦youtubeā¦maybe not dieā¦try not to slip into complete madnessā¦these are good goals i thinkā¦
The Dude abides!
1515151515151515
Survive until I die I guess. The options are becoming fewer for me at this point and a meaningful day is a nice sunrise, or sunset just as much as anything else. Iāll also try to make what I can of the limited time I have left before my nieces all grow up and no longer visit me anymore. I also will spend time with my brothers and the remaining time I have left with my Mother. Right now there are no realistically interesting long-term plans.
You can find many productive activities. There are peer counseling jobs thru mental health programs as well as instructional roles to others like us. You aināt beat. Youāre gonna kick butt. Hugs
I look to your posts for wisdom
And i mean i admire your posts for wisdom⦠Maybe i said it wrong
I guess just look after my husband and try to write and get published maybe, I hope so. Otherwise, I just feel like I am existingā¦
Balance good/bad, party and not let it get me down too much. Do as much as I possibly can despite troubled people and my own tolerances/intolerances, exhaustion. Have not found STABLE living situation since I sold my home of 10 years and āgave upā where I am living now AGAINā¦Employment here has deteriorated so badly, is only doing yourself harm and meet a lot more messed up people.
*Adjust living situation to suit your local problems ā Had to return to living with family in place where things went wrong for me. Moved around alone & female for a bit, and got run out of a few situations ruining people. Males left these areas quickly too btw.
So returned to where things went wrong, waiting for man to get done with jail for something stupid. I keep his as he is good man and lots here have gone to ruining peopleā¦
**Deal with going out or not. Learning to deal with shut-in situation. Social stuff Iāve tried here is being hunted by predators wanting slaves to do favors or pick up relationship. (Iāve lived in nicer places to socialize. Sometimes meetup.com is loaded with good people and other places, predators.)
**Pay cash if you want to take a class or two, use online or just study. School here is not an option. It worthless screwing at couple of the places & almost useless content. Have to pay back loans/grants immediately if you drop out and the harassment is BAD, BAD.
**Job ops vary greatly by location. Jobs have thrown me out. They do this to some adults who met the wrong people. Actually got thrown out of networking groups, two groups on same day by different people. Threatened about my work history too, but information was incorrect. After seeing some bad stuff happen at professional jobs, some only take the labor/restaurant jobs here but I cannot due to other health issues. I do work online when opportunity arises but have not found regular work yetā¦
**Volunteer with caution. Got screwed BAD by last volunteer jobā¦Got another case of crazy to deal with and adminās for volunteer website wonāt pull the job listing either. Is always better to just get volunteer jobs through United Way as they know who is legit.
**Shut 'em up a bit. In short, Iāve seen better places to live so Iām accepting my limitations somewhat. I donāt really enjoy the social events here much any longer as the churches turned to hate monger and I get called a thief and all sorts of other creative verbal attacks. Is nice to know, I can make the YACK-YACK gesture with my hand and tell someone āitās just the divorceā and āyou may be more comfortable sitting over thereā. Keeps things quieter at events btw but social stuff got worse after getting screwed at volunteer job so just not spending the money on social stuff much, is waste if you donāt enjoy it.
**Maximize functioning but be flexible, bad days are sure to come.Trying to put myself on schedule to maximize my functioningā¦Sleep aids are making it bearable. I have non-medicatable psychosis, 12 years non-stop now. Is better not to talk aloud, but I do sometimes. It makes the social harassment much worse and even gets some ruined. Iām not quite there yet due to upcoming move interrupting it.
*Know which local things are got-chas. Miss using the local YMCA but some people are a target for theft. Is nice things are predictable here so just know what can bite.
*Church thing is horrible idea PROBABLY but may be demanded āto be okayā in some places. Is getting some hurt to go to wrong churches to ābe healedā. People get stuck there and threatened if you try to leave. Trouble is the mega-churches, large churches usually thrown out of their denomination for wrong doing, so non-denominational now and really just formed dirty business networks serving some wealthy elders and directed around to do anything. No bibles are used and very little content to anythingā¦If you knew anything about the elders, would not go near it. If you do leave, may be harassed out of working around theirs. Better they not know you. Ethics are not taught. Expect to be told you have to preach-stalk people and call some on disability check āthievesā. Gets really bad when you are told to harass and obviously handicapped person who pissed off wrong peopleā¦Is hard to do what is right though.
*In some communities, people get married/shack when the voices start in order to keep the more troubled people away & lots of bad community scams. You may have someone pick you up trying to talk to you about something private to youā¦If person has professional employment, education and treats people okay (and doesnāt call you a nutcase), is frequently a first marriage. At least talk to these for a bit to see if you get good ones or weirdos/nutcases, these know a lot about coping okay with local situation sometimes. These folks are āconditionalā, so you may get dumped for no reason except stress or social pressure. Shacking or whatever roommate situations will keep away some of the verbal harassers and vandals. Itās so messed up here, can get fired if working and living alone ā no unemployment is paid. Some places do this regularly screwing out same employeeā¦
Met lots of people with stories inhospital the two times I was there. Best insights I got: 1. Some places screw people who move out to country. Is harder than city. Can be completely different planet if you just go 50 miles, different scams, different abusers, different cop problemsā¦2. Relationships are hell schizo if you end up with an abuser who plays the system. 3. Multiple houses really helpful and just leave problems behind if community/neighbor is trouble for while, come back to it later. If you are shacked or married, situation can be ānormalā picture again if you left without complaining and just transferred to another office for a while. Some just donāt pay taxes on it for a fewā¦Some keep it dirty, others just use shabby furniture, some board up windows on good place evenā¦DRAIN WATER PIPES AFTER YOU TURN OFF WATER SO IT WONāT BURST. 4. Delinquent tax sale prices are only price worth paying for real estate but read up to make sure you are buying ownership, not just lien to do collections onā¦(Only works if you are on SSDI and no aid, SSI has limits on property ownership.)********
I still hold out hope that I can be a contributing member of society. I have so many ideas to put out there, mainly how to help improve function, relations, and profit.
Looking to that at the moment. Thinking of starting a coffee shop becoming a social worker working with street kids. If itās a successful program run a few around the country. Really itās a balance of work, rest and play. Socializingās important to so a balance of friends and family and socializing in general. You can argue some friends are more like family then your own family still a case of trying to get a balance. Think I will be working long into retirement making up for time Iāve taken off being ill. As long as Iām happy or content which Iāll settle on.
Iāve done precious little with my life, but the game is not up yet.
Iām getting asked this question a lot lately. No idea as all I want is to be normal. Raise a family, go back to school, drive, and certainly not have to take the time to express my emotions so much with strangers or be reminded to breathe in deep. It can be very taxing at times. Now even more so with the new insurance our organization is conducting where they only cover a certain amount of sessions before youāre supposed to be well adjusted. Anyway, sorry just needed to vent. Wishing everyone wellness. Kristina