I reakon what i went through was

i reakon what i went through was biblical in a certain sense

One of my psychotic breakdowns involved Religionā€¦I get where youā€™re coming from.

I felt a bit like Christ had returned to Earth in the form of a $hit joke Artist like myself. Iā€™ve been better off since that experience. It really humbled me. I post nicerā€¦treat those around me with more respectā€¦and am generally a better person because of it.

If every cloud has a silver lining, then this was the upshot of one of my trips through Hell.

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Do you mean you realized it after you got well, or during the episodes? Because we usually find meaning after the fact, but persecution and delusion during it.

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Both during and afterā€¦enlightenment.

Yeah me too. And also like @Patrick it humbled me. Now Iā€™m glad Iā€™m a nobody :smile:

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I hear ya, @Minniiā€¦

I kept wandering around the Psych Ward telling everybodyā€¦"Iā€™m NOT Christā€¦and Iā€™m NOT Hitler!! Iā€™m just Patrick and I just want my little job and family life back!!

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i use the word ā€˜ā€˜throughā€™ā€™ because i am on the other side of it now, and in a much better place

Iā€™ve thought I was both Hitler and Christ. That I was in hell cuz I was Hitler, or I was the Chosen one aka Christ.

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I mentioned this on the site already, but Iā€™ll tell it again with details. I thought I was god, and in the ward there was this guy that thought he was the devilā€¦ and we kinda helped each other. We were on the same group therapy, and I went on talking about my exboyfriend who abused me, and he came to say he was sorry about it, that he really hoped it wasnā€™t his fault. That was a reality check for me, it was not my fault (as I thought at the time) or his fault the guy had nothing to do with itā€¦ We hugged. Pretty beautiful moment.

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i had the delusion me and the devil raped every person in the world and god punished me by being in hell, and a 100,000 different deaths i was going to get

the ā€˜ā€˜fearā€™ā€™ drove me nuts

When I thought I was Hitler I thought even if I killed myself I would be re-incarnated back into Hellā€¦so there was no avoiding it. Probably good I thought that.

But then I thought ā€œWait, Iā€™m not racistā€¦And Iā€™m Jewishā€, so maybe this is just a lesson to be taughtā€¦well first I thought ā€œMy dadā€™s Jewish and heā€™s part of the one punishing me through his bad parentingā€ā€¦And I thought about a week before my grandfather died, he looked at me and then looked at my Dad and said ā€œI love youā€ā€¦and my grandfather fought in World War 2 as a Jewish American, so I thought that moment was my grandfather saying to my Dad ā€œThanks for ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā–  up Hitler reincarnations lifeā€

Now I donā€™t blame my father and Iā€™m on meds and I donā€™t have all these crazy thinkings and delusions anymore.

I also thought i was an alien in a robot society.

DAMN IM ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– .

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us sufvifers of these wars should be honoured with medals of bravery for going through all this ā– ā– ā– ā– 

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@Minniiā€¦

Iā€™ve mentioned this beforeā€¦

During one of my stays at the Psyche ward there were TWO women who thought they were Christ!

A male patient I had befriended asked meā€¦ā€œPat, if either one of these two women really is Christ, which one would you choose to go to council with??ā€

So I thought about it for a sec, and then in typical guy fashion, I repliedā€¦ā€œThe one with the biggest boobs!ā€

I was getting better and my sense of humor was kicking inā€¦ lol!

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i can relate to all of your pain and hardship we are all in a way in the same boat, we carried the cross of suffering i offer up my suffering now because now i am a all round better person from it

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Ahahah thatā€™s funny.

A bunch of Christs walking around, and they say he hasnā€™t come back!

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for composation i want big money in return

Yeah one of my psych ward stays I met a guy who was Moroccan and he kind of looked like Christ and thought he was Christ. We became friends. But I never told him I thought I was Christ. He was more open about it.

I wasnā€™t raised with any real religious educationā€¦ I never thought I was Christā€¦

But I did think I was on the path be becoming a Zen masterā€¦ a healerā€¦

I think I was just trying to find calm within myselfā€¦ so I was trying to bring others a sense of calm as wellā€¦

When I was in hospitalā€¦ I used think I could only know mental calm if I lived mental chaosā€¦ That sort of thinking didnā€™t really help at all.

Thatā€™s how I kinda knew I was getting better too.

I also thought I was Christ and they were going to crucify me. Then when I realised the arrogance of my belief I thought I was the devil and was in hell. Or Christ-Devil that had been sent to hell. Dark times but I got through it. Now Iā€™m just a regular wally.