i reakon what i went through was biblical in a certain sense
One of my psychotic breakdowns involved Religionā¦I get where youāre coming from.
I felt a bit like Christ had returned to Earth in the form of a $hit joke Artist like myself. Iāve been better off since that experience. It really humbled me. I post nicerā¦treat those around me with more respectā¦and am generally a better person because of it.
If every cloud has a silver lining, then this was the upshot of one of my trips through Hell.
Do you mean you realized it after you got well, or during the episodes? Because we usually find meaning after the fact, but persecution and delusion during it.
Both during and afterā¦enlightenment.
Yeah me too. And also like @Patrick it humbled me. Now Iām glad Iām a nobody
I hear ya, @Minniiā¦
I kept wandering around the Psych Ward telling everybodyā¦"Iām NOT Christā¦and Iām NOT Hitler!! Iām just Patrick and I just want my little job and family life back!!
i use the word āāthroughāā because i am on the other side of it now, and in a much better place
Iāve thought I was both Hitler and Christ. That I was in hell cuz I was Hitler, or I was the Chosen one aka Christ.
I mentioned this on the site already, but Iāll tell it again with details. I thought I was god, and in the ward there was this guy that thought he was the devilā¦ and we kinda helped each other. We were on the same group therapy, and I went on talking about my exboyfriend who abused me, and he came to say he was sorry about it, that he really hoped it wasnāt his fault. That was a reality check for me, it was not my fault (as I thought at the time) or his fault the guy had nothing to do with itā¦ We hugged. Pretty beautiful moment.
i had the delusion me and the devil raped every person in the world and god punished me by being in hell, and a 100,000 different deaths i was going to get
the āāfearāā drove me nuts
When I thought I was Hitler I thought even if I killed myself I would be re-incarnated back into Hellā¦so there was no avoiding it. Probably good I thought that.
But then I thought āWait, Iām not racistā¦And Iām Jewishā, so maybe this is just a lesson to be taughtā¦well first I thought āMy dadās Jewish and heās part of the one punishing me through his bad parentingāā¦And I thought about a week before my grandfather died, he looked at me and then looked at my Dad and said āI love youāā¦and my grandfather fought in World War 2 as a Jewish American, so I thought that moment was my grandfather saying to my Dad āThanks for ā ā ā ā ā ā ā up Hitler reincarnations lifeā
Now I donāt blame my father and Iām on meds and I donāt have all these crazy thinkings and delusions anymore.
I also thought i was an alien in a robot society.
DAMN IM ā ā ā ā ā ā .
us sufvifers of these wars should be honoured with medals of bravery for going through all this ā ā ā ā
@Minniiā¦
Iāve mentioned this beforeā¦
During one of my stays at the Psyche ward there were TWO women who thought they were Christ!
A male patient I had befriended asked meā¦āPat, if either one of these two women really is Christ, which one would you choose to go to council with??ā
So I thought about it for a sec, and then in typical guy fashion, I repliedā¦āThe one with the biggest boobs!ā
I was getting better and my sense of humor was kicking inā¦ lol!
i can relate to all of your pain and hardship we are all in a way in the same boat, we carried the cross of suffering i offer up my suffering now because now i am a all round better person from it
Ahahah thatās funny.
A bunch of Christs walking around, and they say he hasnāt come back!
for composation i want big money in return
Yeah one of my psych ward stays I met a guy who was Moroccan and he kind of looked like Christ and thought he was Christ. We became friends. But I never told him I thought I was Christ. He was more open about it.
I wasnāt raised with any real religious educationā¦ I never thought I was Christā¦
But I did think I was on the path be becoming a Zen masterā¦ a healerā¦
I think I was just trying to find calm within myselfā¦ so I was trying to bring others a sense of calm as wellā¦
When I was in hospitalā¦ I used think I could only know mental calm if I lived mental chaosā¦ That sort of thinking didnāt really help at all.
Thatās how I kinda knew I was getting better too.
I also thought I was Christ and they were going to crucify me. Then when I realised the arrogance of my belief I thought I was the devil and was in hell. Or Christ-Devil that had been sent to hell. Dark times but I got through it. Now Iām just a regular wally.