I wish I could just stop taking my meds and go insane again rather than face my reality right now…will I stop taking my meds? NO. but just sayin’…
2 Likes
I’ve felt similar at times but could never do that to my loved ones. And I know it would destroy anything I’ve worked for.
2 Likes
Sometimes i am amazed at the hallucinations I heard and saw but full psychosis has been dangerous for me and I don’t need to go through it again.
1 Like
Sometimes I want to do it just to write it all down. If I could be brave enough to do that or are they going to get me for doing it. Almost killed myself the first time it happened. . So probably no, not gonna go
I’ve never taken medication, but I feel like if I do my entire reality will come crashing down and I will have nothing left.
@Shadowdash Do you have a pdoc? Or a therapist?
If there were no negative consequences i would love to be insane again, i think there is deeper meaning to every delusion
1 Like
What’s happening your end @jukebox to make you feel this way?
1 Like
I miss the feeling of thinking that i had it all figured out and everything made sense. I don’t miss the paranoia of thinking i was going to be killed because i had aquited such knowledge.
6 Likes
I went to therapy when I was younger, but to be completely honest, I didn’t get much out of it. I go to counseling for my depression, but I keep my schizophrenia a secret. I’m very good at hiding it and I know that it could create some real problems if people find out about it.
1 Like
@Shadowdash You said in another thread that you’re currently on APs, so hopefully you’re being open about your symptoms with your pdoc at least?
It’s a cold euphoria.
1 Like
Its agony for me not euphoria. And I’m still symptomatic despite being on high dose meds. Wanna switch places?
I really don’t miss ‘coming to’ tied to the bed in the quiet room wearing a diaper filled with my own waste. That was less than auspicious.
1 Like
That euphoria makes it tempting to get off the med’s, but I have learned from hard experience that I’ll probably never be able to get off the anti-psychotics.
1 Like
For me its dysphoric absolutely skressful. Im super ocd about my meds never taking less…only more.
1 Like
i was a terrible person before meds… i was paranoid… either crying or angry all the time… destroyed some furniture… which i regret doing now… i wanna buy new furniture…
i tried stopping meds a while back, i thought i was ok but i wasnt and i ended up going back on them and taking double, i managed to cut them down again after 6 months though
but thats bc i thought i was ok, i would never stop my meds to intentionally have symptoms, my symptoms are pretty severe if unmanaged so i would be a wreck, sounds pretty dumb if you ask me.
Nevermind 3.1415926
I hear ya, @jukebox…
I don’t think coke or heroin could ever give me the same high I experienced while psychotic.
But the crash of reality was a real kick in the pants. So I don’t plan on returning to that state anytime soon.
1 Like