My friend went off her meds and is currently in the hospital. I don’t know why but I for some reason am missing psychosis. I am recovered and have a full life but I yearn to let it all go. I’m seeing my caseworker next week I’m going to talk to her.
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There is something enticing about giving up all responsibilities and letting the crazy out. I don’t know why I want to suffer
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I think we just have a knack for self destruction
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Life is so much pressure. Between work, school, and dating I’m finding I need some sort of release. I don’t know what it is. There was something about my delusions that were freeing. It was like I understood the universe and it looked through me. I need to stop. I can’t put my family through any more turmoil
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If it helps I’ve felt exactly the same and so currently. I’m off my meds but I wouldnt recommend it to anyone. As intriguing as psychosis can be when you’re not psychotic its hell when you get there. You know?
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You could end up becoming a danger to yourself or others.
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Hope you stay on your meds @Air-- you’re doing big things in between school, having a social life and working, and it’d be a shame to backside into psychosis again.
Wishing you the best 
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I also notice a marked difference. I felt so much better physically, whereas I didn’t have to drink or smoke, had more energy and overall felt good. I went all winter last year unmedicated.
I remember being infatuated with archeology and ancient ruins in Peru and Bolivia. The dimensional porthole in Peru. The great pyramids, where I got a download that said the Arc of the Covenant rests in the sarcophagus and the Arc of Gabriel sat on top. An electromagnetic response within the pyramid would energize the ley lines around earth.
Accessing these realms where easier without the medication.
Yeah, I kind of like the torture and suffering of psychosis too. The best part is when it wrecked my life forever, but hell, it’s a good way to kill time on a boring Sunday.
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Psychosis is life-wasting ■■■■. Stop yearning for it.
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I think theres an f-cked up element in all of us Schizophrenics - that want to be free from the meds - and all the side effects that go along with it. Its almost like we automatically forget the psychosis, paranoia and pure “nuttyness” before we went on em.
Maybe its just me - and im talking out my arse. But you forget how ill you REALLY used to be.
Im donating my brain to science when the maggots will be eating me - so much is not understood.
I feel EXACTLY the same right now! Been stable for two or three months and there’s something strange about missing psychosis but there you have it. I’m not alone and it feels good. I’m on my meds for my husband’s sake as I don’t want him to suffer. He’s suffered enough with my frequent hospital stays (six in eight years since I got married) and we almost gave up on our relationship because of my sza.
My boyfriend doesn’t know I have psychosis. It’s not a long term relationship so I don’t feel the need to tell him. I think I’m succumbing to the pressures of life
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Dont tell him too soon - let him get to know you first, these sort of topics scare the hell outta normies lol. Or it will blind him - and he wont see your real personality, and the nice person that you really are.
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He’s an au pair, so will only be here for six to 12 months before going back to europe. I figure I can just be normal for that period. Unless things get bad I don’t really feel the need to tell. I’ve told other dates and they haven’t cared, one actually didn’t believe me.
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Hell, I don’t even want to be toilet trained when I’m wanting my freedom.
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Not complicated. Toilets are a relatively simple fact of human life.
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I’m just saying from reading your posts you seem to have the thoughts of a very complex person. I respect that.
Ok but some of my problems really are juvenile - immaturity.