That’s good you are doing fine not talking to her. I think I will be too once I open up to her how I feel about her. Then I can let go and leave the door open for her if she ever changes her mind which she doesn’t have to
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She didn’t say she didn’t want to hear it. She just didn’t want to respond…
This is the message that made her unhappy
It’s a very insecure, judgemental, selfish, jealous, and greedy way I was being.
That’s why I just want her to know that I understand what my problem was here.
Ive been through similar.
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I look like a drug dealer and they look like a$$holes
I’m fighting the urge to stay sober
I’m not having any fun 
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Am sorry to hear that yellowdiamond.
Hope you are okay and I’m sure you probably regret any big mistakes you may have made.
Aw that sucks. Do you have something to look forward to afterwards at least? Or can you leave early, if it gets too much. If it gets too overwhelming maybe go in a quiet room for however long you need to.
I’m getting some blue lotus in the mail that and some Oreos n milk ---- I’m just telling myself I’m not getting drunk over and again…
My other sister is in rehab for drinking
My brother in law called me ‘buddy’
Why does it seem like everyone knows about my SZA condescend me in thoughts or behind my back?
Like just a feeling they think yer an idiot
I just hate being called buddy
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After reading your message it sounds like you need therapy to work on your issues before you try to reconcile. Has she ever taken one of your boyfriends before? You’ve posted that you’re worried she would, and if she hasn’t done that in the past then it sounds like you have some insecurities.
Respect her boundaries and work on your insecurities through therapy, and if/when she reaches out to you then you will be in a healthier place to have a good relationship with your sister. That would be a hard message to read if she hasn’t done anything.
With all of that being said, if you have verifiable evidence as to why you don’t feel safe around her, you should take some space anyways to protect yourself.
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If your bro in law called you a buddy that’s quite endearing lol.
There’s a chance these people have no problem with you, it might just be your mind being mean to you.
Try not to drink if you are trying not to.
It isn’t going to solve anything in the long run.
But don’t beat yourself up if you slip. 
This does happen to me too.
But I just don’t give up and get back on track
Just meant in an emotional way. Like I feared I could not trust her.
But now in her absence, I realise that she means so much to me that I have no choice but to drop all my greed and such.
And just think positively about my relationship with whomever I’m in a relationship
I have this thing where I just DO consider worst case scenarios, I do it with everything it’s nothing personal on her I just need her to understand but I will focus on it positively nevertheless. And if her and a guy I date want to be friends then I will be happy for them instead of upset, lol. Because I am a giver not a taker. And I will just look at things positively,
No I mean I’ve only ever let her meet one of them. And that was when I was mad psychotic lmao.
But in all seriousness she is a great gal.
I have a sister I don’t speak to. She’s awful. But I do talk to my other sister. I’m thinking you need to give her space for a while before reaching out again.
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Females these days don’t want to be my friend
I’m just so simple and basic and have strange ideas about food.
But she was accepting of me.
And I may have ruined it.
I think you need a lot of therapy to get past this thing of following your “feelings” all the time. And to learn that feelings aren’t facts.
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I think you might be right. I hope one of my 15 self help books goes through stuff like that.
I was too judgemental and I put it down to intuition.
I think it might be negative wiring in my brain that’s very hardwired for whatever reason.
Self help books are not therapy. You need a real therapist.
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I guess I should look into it since I work at night.
People say therapy a lot on here.
doctors rarely give one to you. people can have hard to open up. get a therapist private is effort and money.
How about a thread on How to get a therapist etc on this forum?
I decided I won’t write her a letter. She blocked me on watsapp. And she got the message from my dad that I’m here if she wants to talk etc etc etc. I apologised and stuff, So if she wants to talk to me she can. Since I have unblocked her.
I don’t want to be sending letters when she has me on block on watsapp. That’s going too far. I agree.
It’s just annoying that she doesn’t know it hurt me to be called a user. She needs to realise that wasn’t nice either. My dad won’t send that to her as he thinks the message is too violent.