I typed to her some in between 830 and 1030 pm although very little was actually said. I think she may have been multitasking or busy so I didn’t get pushy and am now waiting for her move which who knows how long and if that happens.
She is 30 like me but looks pretty and seems nice so far. She lives 15 to 20 minutes away from me, my social anxiety will have to have some Ativan thrown at it so I can more easily communicate as I am like a fine cheese that starts off a little weird but gets better over time.
I will probably reach out today at 5 pm after therapy and just ask how her day was. It has been 2 years since I have tried a relationship and this is just the foreplay to getting into a relationship so I have to at least come off as someone worth being interested in.
The good news is I wasn’t ghosted, at least not until my last 2 sentences but it was later when I sent those and she hasn’t unmatched me yet.
Girls can be fickle. Don’t get your hopes up with a photo. She may not be in a rush for a relationship. She may just want to talk first or play the field.
With a photo you know very little and a profile can be exaggerated.
If it’s meant to be it will happen. If it doesnt, keep trying.
Yeah she has been talking with me a bit while I am at work, I have been waiting to hear that I am no longer needed for a while due to the coronavirus, I got a heads up last Friday about that but my boss is just in his room with his door shut.
The girl seems nice so far, she has a ten year old which I guess I am ok with, I mean I have kids too but yeah I guess I can come around to someone else having one.
I am not sure what direction to really go in with this woman, I am so rusty at this stuff and I just don’t know what to talk about because of this coronavirus. Seriously the worst time to match with someone when activities are being shut down.
She is apparently going through some issues with a ex who is telling her she doesn’t deserve to be with him or anyone settle with him or anyone else and I’m trying to talk her out of that mindset.
I care but I just don’t know what to say, I am trying my best.
Just listen. Be understanding. Offer encouragement. It sounds like she’s not ready for something new yet since her ex is still so involved in her life. But you never know. She may keep talking to you and in the future be ready for a relationship. Good luck
It isn’t a traditional ex, it was someone from 10 years ago who she recently talked to and was told something along the lines of not being good enough for him or anyone else. Sounds like a real jerk.
Tread carefully if you’re looking for romance, as it sounds like she is not ready yet. I’m not trying to sound insensitive, but using a dating app to vent relationship frustrations is different. There are forums, real life friends and family, and if its bad enough crisis lines to talk to.
I’ve ran into situations like this and it always catches me off guard. It always gave me an uneasy feeling whenever I would end up trying to talk them out of whatever their mindset is. There was one person who told me that they were sexually assaulted and were still very cautious about dating. Understandable, I’m still super cautious about dating after being sexually assaulted and that was ten years ago. I figure we have a shared tragedy and maybe we can help each other trust again, even if nothing romantic happens. I just found it to be too triggering because they talked about their assault in explicit detail a lot. I begged them to talk to a professional but they wouldn’t, and it was taking a toll on my state of mind. I feel bad about breaking off contact as they clearly needed someone to talk to, but I gave them resources for victims of sexual assault and even located some therapists close to their town and then I told them goodbye. I still think about it a lot and wonder if I was a jerk for bailing.
After that I decided not to talk about personal issues right off the bat. After we get to know each other, sure, but not right off the bat.
@Squanchy I think you were a bit closer to the interpretation of my situation. She was in a negative mood all day that I tried to get her out of but she wasn’t going anywhere positive.
On the plus side she didn’t dump alot of drama on me, she said she didn’t want to put her problems on me which shows some maturity but overall I have mixed feelings over this whole ordeal.
This match is upsetting me, she doesn’t initiate conversation or seem to want to speak much but won’t ghost me, I just don’t know what to do I am not learning about her and don’t know if she expects me to read her mind or what it is.
Hmmm don´t worry too much with this, it´s the best way to be natural. I know you both don´t have 20 years anymore, and not showing interest may not be the obvious answer, but it helps to stay natural. You can keep looking for other matches on Tinder.
But the thing is tinder is unnatural, I don’t know how the hell this is supposed to go in this instance but last time around I actually got to know many things about that woman and we spent time texting and eventually dated.
I mean if dating was like going to the store i would have a real peach and some nice melons.
Any news from yesterday?
A better analogy than going to the store is that you want to rent a place and you are in the offer and she is in the demand position looking for a place.
You both have interest in common but she can look for other places that maybe are better suited for her and you can look for other tenants for the same reason. And maybe she hasn´t even make her mind about moving out from her old place.
You need to announce yourself well, make yourself available and be good at discussing the price and the conditions. You let her know that you are interested in the deal.
Other than that you cannot force anything. The only thing that you can do is to look for more demand while waiting. Otherwise if you look too needy you may end up in a deal that doesn´t favor you…
I tried Bumble, dating app where girls talk first. I had many matches but only some were pretty and young or my age 29. I would talk to those pretty girls and they respond back until its time to arrange a meeting, they ditch me by either not responding, saying sorry I changed my mind or unmatching me. I lost my girl’a talking skills due to SZ.
There was this arab girl, I am arab, we spoke in arabic. She asked me what will be my best wish for 2019 new year etc She wanted to go to lebanon with someone.
The thing is that I had a serious gf, she wanted kids by not taking her pills, for 6 years until she left me because of my symptoms. She said you can’t sleep in my house if you don’t pay half the rent and that I am doing nothing in my life, no work no friends etc. She told me you’re only here for sex and that I am useless.
Before SZ I used to go to university with excellent grades, work, hangout with 25 friends, gf, travel, and help my parents. Now I only get out of my bed occasionnally to play video games and for my psy apt. My parents get my meds and food.
I am lucky to not had kids with that girl and to have such supportive parents. She would be stealing my parents money for child support for life and the government wouldn’t allow me to see my kids because of my hospitalisations and violent psychosis. I would end up in streets, prison or dead if my parents refuse to pay child support.
You need to give relationships time, money and emotions (I have apathy from negative symptoms). I have nothing to give in relationships after my SZ so I learned to forget them for life. My health and wellbeing is much more important. I tell myself that I am like a priest who’s not allowed to have sex or get married.
