My husband is extremely upset that our house is lived in by pigs: my stepdaughter and me.
To be clear, everyone who comes over says we have a clean house,
But it’s a small house so some things are out on counters
My husband prefers all counters be bare.
He also wants all walls’ paint to look fresh.
He’s screaming and yelling about the mess.
I’ve cleaned a lot and done laundry but it’s not enough.
I feel like he’s going to leave me and it sucks.
My heart hurts.
I mean if it irritates him so much he should probably do it himself.
that is actually not acceptable.
i understand getting into a fight and arguing and yelling.
I know you love him. and everyone will tell you to leave him.
but he is not going to leave you.
My theory (being in a 25year marriage) and grew up with family who had a bad day or for whatever reason are themselves unhappy will take their anger on the most mundane unimportant thing towards people they love.
you need help on how to handle this type of behavior from your husband.
this has nothing to do with the house or you.
also you can’t win this argument. let him vent. don’t argue back. but also don’t take it. yelling back fuels what is happening. they want to fight.
a therapist can probably give you the tools to handle this.
maybe while he is screaming and yelling and using you as a punching bag,
just to keep it from escalating - acknowledge and agree with him, you know you’re right we should clean the house, we’ll start right away.
honestly, my spouse has this temper. but he is not a bad person.
I’m sorry…
I’m sure your place is cleaner than mine.
I understand the pressure to keep a clean house… It sucks.
I am not too good at being a house wife.
You’re right @Kxev . I didn’t bother to argue. I just started cleaning.
He’s really unhappy with his life and hates being disabled
And he’s weaning off his delaudid in his pain pump which greatly adds to his stress and bad mood
I try but what I do isn’t enough. I’m not OCD but my husband is. So little things make him crazy.
My spouse is also disabled health wise but the government won’t allow him disability. So I’m also a caretaker.
Your siyuation sounded like mine down to the house not being clean and nice.
But with therapy he has gotten better and me being in therapy. And him being in therapy with me we minimized this and he is aware of his temper.
My sz also causes me rage aggression so it’s also something I put on him and my positive and negative symptoms.
That sucks that he didn’t qualify. I feel so bad for you both
Yeah when my spouse is on opioid for pain the temper doesn’t make sense I think it’s a side effect of pain meds
Oh wow. I wonder if all opioids would have that affect on him. I mean, would a different one maybe not do that?
No my experience. My spouse uses all types and they can all cause aggression depending how long he’s on it for. And dose.
So yeah thedelait is pretty intense pain med. it is a common side effect. When he is off you guys can discuss it.
My experience without therapy he doesn’t like hearing that
Pain meds now are our last resort to manage his pain. So a few times a year
Do you mean Delaudid or something else?
Yra I was thinking that maybe he has OCD or something. I don’t mean to be rude but just wondering why he would get so mad about that. Makes more sense now. Still I don’t think it’s right to yell at you. We all do what we can. It’s not my business but since you posted about it I just wanna say I think it’s unfair. You’re not a child 
Yeah @anon4126574 . He calmed down and apologized. He really can’t handle things sitting out at all.
Our daughter’s room was a disaster and so was her bathroom. We cleaned both thoroughly.
I also cleaned our bedroom and the kitchen. They weren’t dirty but I know having things as clean as possible makes him happy
My therapist said after seeing our house that he’s clearly OCD.
He said I’m not a pig and he is sorry for taking his frustration out on me.
At least it’s all clean now
This one 151515
I’m glad y’all worked it out 
marriage can be hard sometimes I guess. Glad y’all still love each other enough to make amends tho. Wishing yall happiness and peace 
Thanks @anon4126574
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