Do you find that you feel like you need to make excuses for being generally rubbish?

I’m married, yeah.
and i think that he still doesn’t understand that it is a big deal for me to do anything other than cook ready meals and sit on the sofa watching tv

I don’t mean that as everything else is too difficult exacly because with support, or space, i can do so much more…
but it is always a bonus - is that how you see it?
Its a massive comedown from the high achieving attempts .

if i can’t get off my arse to cook ready meals and work out twice a week for a few weeks

  • i think he expects more

I’ve been doing home cooking from scratch most days since we moved in together
I enjoyed every minute of it but it’s also drudgery

I’m over tired from a couple of days work in London and the travelling up there a third time in a week to go to a concert.

Would you try to explain all this disabled rubbish to him? i think i haven’t found the right words


Are you talking to me…hmmmm

Well I’ve been married twice and both had nagging but nurturing mothers. My first husband just gave pushed alcohol on me to be his “submissive puppy dog” according to one of his friends. However, I had enough of him because I basically married him to escape. My husband now is brilliant yet can’t comprehend the irrationality of my disease. He believes tears are a form of manipulation. Also, I know he loves me but I have posted before like yesterday him talking about having a maid service cuz I was going through a rough patch…bottom line is I cleaned all day and received no wow,etc
I know I constantly speak of validation, but it was ■■■■■■■ hard to clean our 3 k house top to bottom to his standards. I usually do one thorough cleaning.a room a day and every day generally vacuum since dogs shed.

Do you know why…because I am afraid I’ll lose him and my dogs. I am sz, can’t drive, wor, have tardive dyskinesia and have acquired long qts. So, basically I’m scared. I know he loves me but he woke me up at 2 am and haven’t been able to fall back asleep. Sometimes, life blows.

My advice is let him know now cuz less pain later. Omg, I cook, clean, workout am go…go…go…but it’s literally killing me. For 11 years… Ty for your post. It made me think. All I ever am is scared when all my bs is torn away


Just found this. Reminded me of what I must continue image


Advice is do what you can for you. I used too be so weak but now I’m about to feed my dogs and workout and put my headphones on and zone into oblivion. I’ll take it easy since tired but I don’t like thinking though ty again for post


the no wow is a biggie

i would always after he comes home to a situation where i have cleaned usually with my mum and i still need a wow, so i ask him
i need you to come home and say 'wow, clean!'
it’s not as good as spontaneous but i don’t let him get away with no wow.

High standards of clean should not be an expectation
they are his standards
i’m the one who complains about the dirt and i clean it with my mum but mum is now older and i am going to get a cleaner as a one off every few months to get everything manageable.

I respect you a lot that you do all the cleaning - not something that comes naturally to me.
dogs ug we have 2 cats and they are really bad too…

I wish for you that your husband can make you feel more secure. Marriage is so 2 way.

it’s not enough for him to care only enough to keep you scared. but i don’t know what you can say to him.
some relationships are like that
there will always be a kinder or just different option out there but it is a job finding him

1 Like

What was that about him pushing alcohol on you? IMO, that’s BS. He can scarf his own brews but no, he has no right to petition you to join in his drinking.

My ex and haven’t had drink since 05

This topic was automatically closed 95 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.