I just broke a guys heart


#1

I’ve never done anything like this before. I feel like a monster. I told my friend I was going on a date and he confessed to being in love with me. I had to turn him down and block him because he wouldn’t leave me alone. Friends don’t tell other friends they’ll only be happy with them. He was messaging me for 3 hours straight. Should I unblock him and apologize? Or did I do the right thing?


#2

3 hours straight seems a little desperate. I would just be friends until he matures some.


#3

Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. He’s been messaging me all morning saying he was the only guy who could ever really love me. It just feels selfish and messed up. I don’t like him like that, he’s being desperate


#4

I had to do this in the past with guys. It seems cruel in the moment, but if he’s that obsessed, the only way he will get over you and find someone who does love him is if you’re out of his life. Also, it doesn’t sound like he respects your ability to know your own heart when it’s in conflict with what he wants, and that’s not a basis for a lasting friendship. That’s the basis for endless drama and pain on both sides.


#5

It sounds like he’s harassing you and trying to force you into a relationship. That’s very unhealthy. I’d stop talking to him


#6

As a contrast, I have a friend who confessed to having a crush on me a few years ago… I said I didn’t like her like that. She said okay, and didn’t push the issue. When I met Mr. Star, and we started dating, she didn’t get jealous or hurt. She was fine with it and happy that I had finally found someone who I could love. Now, we are still very close, and supportive of each other. We are both married. I’ve had several friends who have told me if I wasn’t asexual and monogamous, they might ask me out. But since I am, they are glad to be my friend and never try to hit on me or make me uncomfortable.

It’s possible to stay friends after an unrequited crush, but only if the person with the crush understands and accepts that you’ll never be together. Only if they are actually fine with being your friend. Otherwise, it’s just a mess.


#7

I think so too. He’s done the same thing with another girl in the past. He’s not creepy or mean or anything, just really pushy and desperate


#8

I’d love to keep being friends with him. I’ll probably just need to give him time


#9

I know you want to believe he can be your friend. But friends don’t do this to each other. Friends respect each other’s wants and needs. Friends trust you to know your own feelings. Even if they like you.


#10

You didn’t do anything wrong to apologize for by rejecting his advances (in my opinion) so I don’t think you should apologize but maybe unblock him to see if he’s cooled off about it and can be a reasonable friend. Your call on the last part.

I have a friend who was romantically interested in me. But he is much older than me and is okay with being friends now. (I don’t say just friends because boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t above friendship, just different)


#11

It’s a part of life, and especially teenage life. You’ll forgive yourself. Even though it’s worse being the one who gets their heart broken, it’s something you have to do. Not doing it is actually much worse for both of you. Speaking from experience.


#12

This is the big screw of the universe, at least for me… in order for a relationship to work, they have to love you back.

I learned not to expect that after a few rejections. After a few more, I stopped dating entirely.

Only had to “dump” one person and it was easy, at least for me. Just say you don’t feel that way about them and you can’t force it. What they do as a result is their own decision.

EDIT: I might try again someday :smiley:


#13

I unblocked him and he mentioned my real name in a topic about rape on reddit of all places demanding that I talk to him. It was such a bizarre thing to do


#14

stay away from him.


#15

Uhhh…this sounds like an unhealthy thing to do. I agree with Bokeh that it looks like the bests thing is to stay away from him.


#16

Have to agree with others, he sounds like a control freak


#17

He’s pushing himself on you. You have a right to reject him.
When I was younger and immature (yesterday) I assumed that every girl who I liked had to like me back. That isn’t true. People can like who they want to like and pushing the issue and getting angry or obsessing over someone is immature and the recipient doesn’t have to put up with it. Don’t blame yourself for this guys actions.


#18

Honestly, I don’t think you broke his heart, but his ego.

I would have no communication with him.


#19

Why the ■■■■ is he talking about rape? That’s ■■■■■■ up and plain dangerous. You did the right thing. Please watch out for yourself.