Does anyone else here often think they’re in love with or crushing on someone?
It seems whenever I make a friend, there will be a time where I have to ask myself if I want to be more than friends or not.
My latest victim is my best guy friend.
We’ve been friends for a good two years now, and I have on several occasions wondered if I wanted more or not.
Lately I’ve come to realise that I probably am in love with him, and probably have been for a while, and it sucks, because
1, I don’t think he feels that way about me,
and 2, I want him in my life for as long as possible, and given both of our track records with relationships, friendship is the way to go.
How do I rid myself of my latest fixation (crushing on him)?
And how do I prevent this from happening again in the future?
No, I’m not in a relationship, and haven’t been for quite some time.
Keeping a distance would be hard, he’s my best friend and I spend more time at his place than I do at home
I kind of went through the same thing, yesterday and last night. The young teaching assistant in assertiveness class was looking a little hotter than usual yesterday, and a little bit in the evening I couldn’t get her out of my head. I thought I was crushing on her and almost proceeded to beat myself or at least I started to. I’ve resolved to conquer the neurotic tendency to want to “make a mountain out of a molehill”. Yeah, it kind of sucks to even be strongly attracted to someone you’re supposed to have a professional relationship with. But, to some extent, we’re all attracted to various people we come in contact and interact with on a daily basis. We’re lucky that Western society has advanced to the point it’s really okay for both men and women to show some skin when the weather is appropriate. Really, I have to lighten up and not try too hard to be a gentleman!
For girls and guys, love is different. For one, guys aren’t as smart when it comes to relationships of any kind. And 2, they confuse friendship for interest and interest for friendship.
So for me, as a guy, I try to be the friend first because that’s what I want out of any relationship, romantic or not. If it grows into something more, it grows into something more.
I’d say you need to wait until this somehow grows on you and doesn’t seem anything special, treat it like very close friendship and really deep feeling for your friend. Try and occupy yourself with something else to distract your thoughts from the crush. I had something of the kind with my good girlfriend but I just let it go, we talk a bit less than I’d love to but we are still good friends and I cherish and enjoy our shared experiences
I don’t know. If she (I’m assuming beru is a girl) wants to escalate it she will have to make it known to him. Moving too fast though might scare him but if she plays her cards right…
That’s the kind of stuff I’m bad at, though. I always either jump the gun and scare them off, or keep it so much on the downlow that they never know.
I’m not sure I want him to know, at least not yet
I understand, I’ve had a few missed opportunities because of what you just said. But I think what I really cherished most was girls who were really good friends. So maybe you’re on the right path.
Right now, he’s discussing with his on-and-off girlfriend whether or not they should get back together.
I should’nt be affected by it, but it feels like I am.
I guess I’m a little jealous, but I shouldn’t be, because I’m the one who made a conscious choice to make sure I never act on any feelings I might or might not have.
He’s not mine, he will most likely never be, and I can live with that.
Yeah, welcome to the world of love, relationships and sexuality! The heart has a mind and a life all its own, so sometimes it will high jack your brain. It doesn’t mean you follow what it feels 100%:; you have to process how you’re feeling towards someone in order to gain cathartic purgation and be able to finally let those feelings go.
I’m going through something similar except with someone I don’t know IRL. I think what did it was how enthusiastic she was to be be my friend. Also how affectionate she is but not in a romantic or sexual way.
Even if she felt the same way she lives over 1,000 miles away, literally.
I hope these feelings go away. My hallucinations seem to be getting better and if I can get my life together so I can get a girlfriend that I can hold and be with it doesn’t affect that.
…
