If you knew my posting history on previous incarnations of the forum software you’d realise I interact far more than I used to. I purposely made a serious effort to do so when we went over to the current forum software . I still don’t find casual forum chat easy but I’m doing my best. If anyone thinks that’s not enough they can ■■■■ off and suck a donkey’s testicles .
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Green is just trying to help, man. You said you don’t have friends, he assumed you wish for more friends, and the best way to earn social points is by acting (being) more interested in people’s stories. You know: asking questions, expressing concern…
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I’m also being alone right now. I’m out here and there…to and from the community center gym on some days, its within walking distance, I put in earphones and look at no one. If it involves driving I don’t drive. Ummm, some half finished attempts at socializing, I try to talk to one guy at the uni, but haven’t contacted him in a few months and simply can’t remember to do so. So I stumble across objects I’ve placed in various places with some intention every day, and I look at them, pick them up and sonetimes remember the unfinished project. For the most part, insight has been slipping away lately and I’m just finding myself in a sea of things which I do not remember. I’m terrified of people, I can’t interpret their faces or emotions anymore, so I just assume they are hostile and dangerous. Delusions of reference, folk are laughing at me derisively, I make split second judgements that they are laughing at me and egging me on. I guess because I can make very little sense of anything in their world. I think other users have similar issues with persecutory delusions. I can’t make sense of or remember even a minute of anything I try and understand, even on this site. None of it makes sense and it all seems hostile. I can converse with my parents or my aunt every couple of days, but I’m making less and less sense. I am entertained and gratified by the process of recieving attention from and giving attention to other ppl. It is a remarkably simplistic thing, and I need my fix. When I don’t take ativan, I can’t pay attention to anything complex. I spend a lot of my day just struggling to remember who I am/was, as losing my personality is a frightening prospect for me. I get very mad sometimes, at nothing, and I cannot control my emotions. I’m coping by writing things down on the site as well as elsewhere to try and hold it all together. So…I’m going to stop taking low dose Seroquel, as it is destabilizing me more…I need to go to the doctor looking crisp next week. Then I will try and get on a mood stabilizer, hopefully without being hospitalized.
So, I’m also not getting out much…
I might be getting out, but I don’t always remember it…
I’ll look in the mirror and be like…“looks like you’ve been working out…whoever you are”.
Of course I show concern. I’m not a robot. When I’ve really tried to interact more Green’s comments are hurtful, and make me wonder why I’ve bothered.
Might just be like the current mood your in for the past while,
Anyways.
I’d try developing a schedule in your free time/ might help with giving you the progative to do things.
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Green hasn’t followed your posts as closely as I have. You can’t expect everyone to know your behavior intimately before offering advice.
Please make peace you two !!
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That was a bit harsh @firemonkey.
I think Green was concerned.
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I walk every day and otherwise just go out for shopping and appointments.
I’m cool with it, what’s the big deal about going out into the loud confusing world?
I hope that you are not upset @firemonkey but I really think that in her own way she was trying to be helpful.
But I can see that she has offended you during the process.
All is good.
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Of course I’m upset. I’m the one that was hurt and yet somehow I’m being harsh?! I don’t find casual chat easy , but actually try to do more of it here than anywhere else forum wise. It therefore makes me feel trying to do something I find hard is a waste of time when I get comments like Green’s.
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Socially, you’ve come a long way.
I’ll freely admit social interaction problems are my greatest deficit. With whether it being to do with mental illness or more to do with co-morbid things a point of debate.
It’s comparatively easier online but still not easy. I don’t know about the USA and elsewhere but here in the UK it’s something that very much overlooked with the primary, and overwhelming, focus on things like delusions and hallucinations.
They can say you have poor social skills but very little is ever done to help you remedy the situation and improve them. Indeed NICE don’t even see social skills training as an essential part of treatment.
Some people instinctively pick up the unwritten rules of social engagement but people like me really struggle with it especially in meatspace. We don’t know how and when to approach people. We really struggle to initiate conversations. Making small talk doesn’t come easy. Timing -knowing when to interject into a conversation-is especially problematic in group settings .
For me the difficulties rate as quite severe/severe. If I said I don’t really know how to make friends that wouldn’t be a lie.
As it is I’ve become quite asocial(as opposed to anti social) and make very little attempt to proactively engage with others in meatspace. People getting too close and wanting to be too personal has me going into avoidant mode and feeling very awkward.
You could count on one hand the number of friends I’ve had in meatspace over 61 years.
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If you’re willing to leave the house, you’ll have more chances to make new friends. But I know it’s really hard. Good luck!
@green5 and @firemonkey
There is conflict and tension. Resolution and reconciliation can happen if you both are willing. Even though intentions were right, your words hurt the other person. Can you apologize?
Oops I feel this remark was aimed at me too.
I never intended to make you feel awkward. You sure get defensive pretty easily, which for me speaks of unaddressed trauma and shame. I remember suggesting you saw a psychologist maybe once a week. But I agree money could be a problem. How about once every two weeks? Still a burden on your budget?
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You’ve not got overly personal in an emotional way .
Just saw this thread @firemonkey I understand fully your view on community. I do miss seeing you here. You are a good contributor. I value and respect you and your needs. If you figure out how to be involved more with others and not find it difficult, could ya tag me. Tbh I really have a hard time with people and relationships. It’s hard for me to jump into the pool…
Very good to see you share🤗
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I was thinking of going out, but looked out the window and it’s raining.
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Hmmmmmm, I know the feeling. I don’t go out much either unless it’s for work, to the doctor’s or groceries. I just don’t feel the need. Maybe it’s a symptom of depression or lack of motivation in me I don’t know but I get where your coming from