I have to go to live in a care home after tonight

I was at my grandmother’s funeral and several family members seriously insulted me that I live off my mom’s and said that I am careless and lazy because I don’t have a job. I tried to mention that I am heavily medicated with antipsychotics but they said that does not matter and I shouldn’t be a burden to my mom. I’m gonna talk with my pdoc tomorrow about moving to a care home and what documentation I need. My mom does not want to let me go, but I think the rest of the family is right.

It’s between you and your mom. If she would like you to stay, then stay. Other folks’ opinions are irrelevant.

With that said, it might be a good idea to speak with your pdoc about options for supported living situations. This is more to plan for long-term when your mom is no longer here.


The rest of your family are wrong. Don’t listen to them. You’re not lazy. You know how debilitating schizophrenia is.

If you want to move into a care home then fine. But don’t be pushed into it by ignorant relatives.


Yes, I agree.
It’s between you and your Mom.
Don’t listen to the others.


I fully agree with what’s been said . IMO if your family members are so concerned about the weight on your mother’s shoulders they would have stepped in to relieve some of it .


please don’t leave your mother…she needs you…she loves you…don’t …


Yeah I wouldn’t listen to them, I’d stay put. I live with my mom and we get along well. No reason to stress yourself out moving to another place. I also agree with @firemonkey about them being able to step in if they are concerned.


I’m 49. I still live with my dad and I help pay the bills. A lot of my pension goes to assisting in keeping us going. I don’t feel guilty about that and it’s through no fault of your own. Your relatives sound ignorant of the realities of sz. That isn’t uncommon unfortunately.


Life is about compromise. My first impression was, “These are your own family criticizing you?” It didn’t seem right and it seemed unreasonable for them to cause you to move.
Then when you agreed with them I thought, “Yeah, maybe they’re right.” But my final thought is that I don’t know how you function but maybe if it makes you feel better you can still stay with your mom but make a few changes if that would make you feel better about living there.
Even if they are small changes like doing the dishes more or doing a little cooking or doing something to make your mom happy. Maybe going out to the garden and picking a rose every morning and putting it on the table for your mom. Be creative. Your mom is your closest family so I would go by what she says, NOT by what other relatives say who do not have the whole picture. I bet your mom is happy when she sees you’re happy so stay there if it makes both of you happy.

Don’t make any rash decisions, think this situation through.

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I have a cousin who is not disabled who never left home who is older than me (I’m 43) and has a job. My aunt is like 80. Nobody has ever said anything to him. We’re all thinking it but we just don’t say it. Of course he is pretty reclusive. He may have something wrong with him.

Your family sounds ignorant . They have no idea nor do they care how disabling schizophrenia is. I would avoid them in the future personally if this is the way they are gonna act .

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If they were disabled like you they wouldn’t have any issues asking for help @Newlyborn.
Listen to your mom. She obviously loves you dearly and wants you to stay.

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