Schizophrenia.com

I have a God complex

This may have evolved through my coping skills as a poet and writer. I used to have vivid dreams, lucid dreams, of spaceships and future worlds. By God, I had the first parallel dream in my life two nights ago- I was in the past, for once. Not the endless future of new tech. It was a woman who was pregnant and I was her, she was sobbing herself to sleep because she knew I was dreaming about her in the future.

So I dont know, I know that some of my existential beliefs have become reality, or are possible because they were tangible–I recorded them, and uploaded them, confirmed them with others. Like electromagnetic telekinesis, the MIND BRAIN and how seizures and the sun relate to hypnotic time travel, which is how I met the Watcher at the Threshold.

He wouldn’t leave me alone, always there—testing and tempting, but now I believe we have made peace. I pray he will forgive himself for his hollow pride. Anyways, the more I was possessed, the more I learned that I couldn’t simply let the white shapes and ghosts step all over me and they would cry out to me in nightmares of the apocalypse, or pandemic, or ice earth, or Brazil/Asia, or the other Planet I named GEMMA, etc.

but I just come up with this, if I were God—I would be the author of my own existence, who am I to say that you cant write your own God-stpry. If I were God I would make everyone else able to be one too…but from the Watcher I realized that making others God is a terrible Gift and Responsibility and that though some of us have our power shaken and thoughts broken or pre-programmed annihilation, there is a Karma and law that prevents those that sow-rotten seeds to prosper, and they do not return out of love…because they dont love life.

So I sometimes I can preform exorcisms, or miraculous healings, or change the weather, make it rain, or survive snow blizzards, or turn down the hurricane noise or static, maybe I can do the impossible as a glitch, mutation, virus, or adaptation, Maybe I simply chose to be this way. So if that’s crazy, guess Im crazy then and Im ok with that. I would rather be crazy for who i am than accepted for something I am not and never will be.

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I’m the god of my world, of my universe.

I’m the god of this matrix.

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I don’t really know what I am.
It changes from delusion to delusion.

I definitely have grandiose ideas

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Are my grandiose ideas defence mechanism?
I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the case

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Yep, I can relate.

I have a complex relationship with believing I’m a god trapped in a human form.

Never really have been able to let that one go.

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Yeah, synchronicity. I guess…

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Moved to Unusual Beliefs category.

Also, please remember that discussion of unusual beliefs should be in a recovery context only.

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I read some of this.

I can’t articulate things like this the way you just did.

interesting, but yep, I can relate.

I think there is a fine line within ourselves that our delusions cross daily. I think i’m God but in this reality who would believe me? Giving consciousness to another being is something i mentally don’t do since the birth of being conscious is a very terrifying concept, anyway I can completely understand where you are coming from since I deal with those thoughts daily, I hope you can get them sorted out because they can tangle into more existential thoughts that would lead you down a rabbit hole where you might end up in the hospital. Wish you peace and love in whatever you do!

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