She never puts it on her voice mail so I don’t know until she hasn’t called me back and then her mailbox gets full so I lose my link to her. I called her in the middle of a raging psychotic episode on Saturday then again on Sunday to update her that I had to increase my haldol (per protocol) back to 30 mg. I wanted to leave her a message again today but the box is full.
now I feel paranoid that I’ve upset her by calling her when I was psychotic and she will never call me back. I keep trying to tell myself that Wednesday is a holiday so she probably just took this whole week off. But I had three psychotic episodes last week so I feel really raw.
How do you get through it when your pdoc is away? Mine doesn’t leave anyone to cover, you just go to the ER if you need to. She’s an otherwise amazing doc though so I keep her.
My pdoc is on vacation this week too. I’m trying to lay low and keep calm. I want to be “good “ and not call. He’s the best. I had him for eleven years.
Hi Harper, thanks for replying. I’ve only had this pdoc for 3 1/2 years but I love her. My previous pdocs were rotating residents at a teaching hospital who had me misdiagnosed and WAY overmedicated, so I appreciate Dr. M all the more!
Yeah it’s hard. I’ve a good shrink but he’s never available in a crisis. He’s just too busy and the system is all under pressure over here. I keep my stress low and am pretty stable so keeping up with your symptoms helps lots. It sounds like your all over it and that is very good for your treatment!
My mom always says I’m an expert in how to get through psychotic episodes…I say its only because I’ve been in the mental health system for 30 years, I’d better have learned something by now!
My stress should theoretically be low because I’ve been on disability for the past 3 1/2 years (since starting with this pdoc). It’s amazing how messed up your brain can be just within the confines of your home. I’m also agoraphobic so I have to deal with that. I don’t even open my window blinds.
She called me back! I guess she is not on vacation, as she wanted to see me today at 1;30 ahead of our Aug 1 appt. I don’t have the car so I can’t go. But it’s great to hear back from her!
Haldol is increasing to 30 mg permanently again so hopefully that is enough. I really don’t want to go higher.
I forgot to mention, my pdoc gave me her cell number and her home number when I talked to her, so I’m trying to tell myself that means she doesn’t hate me for being psychotic. Pdocs deal with psychosis by definition, right? I just love her so much I don’t ever want to lose her. I definitely won’t abuse those other phone numbers. If it’s an office day, I call the office!
Sometimes it’s a complicated relationship with a pdoc I guess.
