sorry bonbon,but the meds are not the solution for me anymore. I tried them for 7 years, I was a zombie, agitated,more fearfull even on them etc etc…I prefer try alone to struggle now,thats it 
I don’t hallucinate bonbon,i don’t have a lot of delusions,i just cant think cause I am too closed in myself and I am depressedand complexed…there is opportunity that I am not a schizo but a borderline… david bowie said once that the bottom of the misery is the fear. yes, I shouldn’t feel ashame of it,ill hope ill get stronger one day
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Fear is a valid emotion. But remember people who are brave are actually probably shaking in their boots during the times they showed bravery, they’re brave in that they chose to face what was scaring them and try to go right through it when there was no other way. Those of us who are scared and turn away are no different from those who are brave, we just haven’t learned how to face that fear yet.
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