I hate my personality

I know It’s not the first time when I write about it here:
I feel like my character causes me the biggest problems in my life. I am struggling.

I am waaay too straightforward, annoying and angry sometimes. I also feel like I am one of the biggest egoists ever.

I lose people. I believe last job was lost because of certain things I did and said to manager.

I also don’t respect those who care about me… I lost so many people in my life (when I was still in a relationship) because I didn’t responded and ignored many people. I literally thought my ex was my love of my life and that’s why I acted so badly with others, now I regret it.

I also tend to hurt others a lot. I say hurtful things. I also always speak truth and defend myself even when it’s not needed.

People who knows me believes I am all alright, but my character/personality is too harsh. :frowning: so many years I try to work on that, but it seems like I cannot change myself. I am literally an a****ole. :joy::joy: literally, laugh with tears.

Like… so many years I thought I am just a bad human being. No, I am not, i never stealed, murdered or did something horrible intentionally. But, one thing for sure - my personality sucks. Maybe I really was too much spoiled financially as a kid. Maybe, just maybe emotional and physical abuse in my family turned on these defensive mechanisms in me. I am quite not sure why is that way… but I know I suck.

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These are things that you can work on: on your own, with self-help books or with a therapist.

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I am trying. Just it seems like at certain momemts I lose all the patience and become horrible again.
One simple word can provoke me, sadly. @Jonathan2

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I wish I could help you more, but I’m not an expert in these things.

But I think that the first step in change is wanting to change, so you’ve got that.

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Maybe you know some good self-help books? :slight_smile:

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I’m not really into self help books, but I liked ‘The Way of Transition’ of William Bridges about changing your life.

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Thanks, @Jonathan2 :slight_smile:

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Humility/humbleness is a good start for self development

Thats what i did. When i realised i was loud and obnoxious to my friends, i began to speak less and listened more is one example.

Another example is, by ignoring complaining as much as possible by being grateful

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I hate my personality too!! Too many unwanted thinking patterns

This why I am getting an assessment for therapy.this month.

Maybe try therapy??

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Maybe I really need to give another chance for therapy. :slight_smile:
I also will read more self help books now. I have tons of it, and some of them I haven’t even started to read.

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Therapy really helped me. Before I was extremely distorted about myself and had a really unhealthy respect for others negative views about me. My therapist shifted that thinking a lot… now it’s easier to hold the good and bad in me without catastrophizing or over saling the positive.

I still get caught up a lot but before therapy I really believe that I was broke. Beyond repair or compassion this was a very biased and negatively focused way of seeing myself. It can change and I know everyone says it but your not that bad coffee :coffee::blush:

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You should try to practice silence. Say nothing most of the time, and only when needed.

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This is very positive, @AKendrick … Overall, people say I am a fighter. Nothing bad cause of that, but sometimes there’s simply… too much of me.
Somehow the more I read this forum, the more I realise therapy can and do help. I will take another chance soon. :slight_smile:

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Good advice. 151515

You should!!! If you get a good therapist it really helps :grinning:

And sorry I didn’t read the full post just the title so I might ridiculous :rofl:

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It’s ok :smiley: :+1:t3: @AKendrick

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I have an ego. I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with it. I don’t care about much in life. But when I think about it there’s people that would affect me if something happened to them. I don’t know is there anybody in your life that you think if something happened to them it would really affect you. I mean life is all about me but seriously if something happened to my parents or my sister or her kids I would be seriously affected.

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I feel the same. I feel fearful that my parents are getting older. Also some other close ppl.
I do care about people.
Probably I am simple bad at maintaining relationships… @Dude1

Also, about ego… I believe we all have it - smaller or bigger. Problems begun when ego starts interfering with life and cause difficulties :frowning:

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I’m 54 and still looking forward to a relationship I guess I don’t know doesn’t really matter. Right now I’m in a pretty good relationship with myself.I guess when two people form a relationship where each other can’t really do without the other one it’s a special kind of relationship.Relationship were each wants to live with the other one for the rest of their life or have a relationship with them for the rest of their life.

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Why do you need a personality? You can just get by on your looks.

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