I have to constantly keep my ego in check. I have grandiose thoughts and beliefs. I have to literally stop my stupid and ■■■■■■■ thoughts from being said. I am a good person and haven’t done anything wrong. But I am afraid to say what’s on my mind. I’m afraid to be critical. I also feel like I have an inferiority-complex. Part of the problem is my intrusive thoughts. I don’t know where this is coming from. I have autistic traits and have to analyze what I want to say so I am not offensive; I end up not saying much. Sometimes I want to be offensive or bold but then I don’t do it because I don’t want the drama and I’m lazy. I keep my true self hidden. I wonder if this is the cause of my suffering – ego dystonic.
My current problem is I feel like I’ve done/said some of these things in past lives/parallel universes and that it didn’t end well. I want to be a good person but deep down there is this demon haunting me.
I dont think your personality sucks, you are just suffering from a mental illness. You are a good person at heart and are trying to feel better. And hey at least you acknowledge your flaws, it’s something you can work on. As we all always should be working on stuff.
My personality sucks too. When I speak to people I go rigid and start talking in a monotone and they start yawning. I’ve literally put people to sleep before. Maybe I would be a good hypnotist. Sometimes I can get a little too high spirited, and I guess it is obnoxious, because people tell me they don’t like it. At first I thought “who are they to tell me how to act”, but it is disliked without exeception, so maybe I should listen. I don’t feel as bad about my personality now. I can live without a lot of human interaction. I just need a small amount of that. I can enjoy myself alone.
I have a big ass but it’s attached to an even bigger ass. (I think I’m funny )
I think I’m one of the bigger jerks, but lots of people don’t seem to agree. Either I’m just that polite or I should be very, very afraid of the world right now. But then again I don’t act on most of my judgement or thoughts.
We all have an ego, so we can all be either a real downer or have our head in the clouds. I still find I opt to be on the side of being a little bit too serious for my own good, though. I try to keep a level head, and sometimes I’m unbalanced. But, hey that’s life.
)