I’ve been having a very difficult week with my hallucinations. Since the moment I woke up the voices were screaming at me for hours and it started to make me angry so I shouted back at them and then i hallucinated someone murdering me. I have been a paranoid mess ever since.
Either Quetiapine or the dose you’re on isn’t working out.
1 Like
It’s not working at all I feel so down all the time
1 Like
Time for a med change maybe. Finding the right meds is all trial and error.
1 Like
You need a more potent antipsychotic. Your pdoc will know what potent means in terms of antipsychotics
1 Like
You should ask your doctor about Clozapine. 
1 Like
From the moment i hit the floor all day my voices nag me. But it sounds like an imagination trip because of your mood. I’m on risperidone and it doesn’t help everything all the time . Good days and bad days. I guess some days I see the ‘white spot’ more often.
1 Like
Is that not a last resort if other medications don’t work?
1 Like
Yes I think it tends to be tried after others have failed. 
1 Like
Oh @Slothlover it was shouting back at them that made them stronger. I noticed that when I was going through my early sz. Dont beg them to leave you alone either. Just let them talk. See if that helps you. When I was in a mental care home a few months ago, i had my worst one yet. Started in the morning and ended only at night.
The voice was telling me that I had died and the care home was my new hell. That I was gonna be there for all eternity and I was gonna. suffer I was just planning to ignore. Then it kept saying it was gonna make me kill the other patients in there that were my friends. When I started ignoring that, it stopped letting me think. When i tried to think a thought, it would jump in with its words and not let me think mine. So I stopped trying to think and just kept watching. I fell asleep like that and felt great when I woke up next morning. Through the fires of hell into the beauty of heaven.
Notice all the dangerous threats it makes are about the future. Essentially saying was gonna. All our fears are always about the future, not about the now. Focus on the now. Just watch the now during a psychosis and face the fear. Attacking the fear or running away never helps. Thats what animals do. Fight or flight. Human beings are more than just animals. We also have a formless mind that we can use to soothe our frightened physical brain.
I’m sorry I wasnt here for you yesterday. Got hung up on solving a Rubiks cube and didnt touch my computer. Spent more than 11 hours trying to figure it out and still no dice. Will try to be here today. 
2 Likes
I’ve seen myself die dozens of times. It’s just voices and images, they can’t do anything to you worse than voices and images. I don’t pay it any mind anymore. Kill yourself is a common phrase from the disease on bad days, if I went in to the ER for “kill yourself” I’d probably live at the ER. It’s just a sound to me now, I’ve heard it so many times. It has very little sting.
2 Likes
Sometimes letting them talk does help but other times it makes them angrier. I have 6 prominent voices that are there all the time then theres background noise but there is this one voice who only comes when things are at it’s worse and hes the one who tells me to self harm. I dont know how to cope with all of this I feel like my life has been completely washed away.
I have seen myself die before but this one has affecting me the most because I have really bad claustrophobia and they used my worst fear to kill me.
@Slothlover
When do you see your psychiatrist again?
1 Like
I see her on Monday
I thought I read that somewhere. A med change is a good idea.
1 Like
You aren’t dead and you aren’t dying. Your mental illness wants certainty to know how and when you will die, but in this world, we don’t know these things. We have to accept the uncertainty. And we need to live in reality. From what we know, you aren’t dying.
1 Like
I feel dead. I feel like I’m a sim. I don’t know if you know what the sims is but it’s a life simulation where you control what they do and that’s exactly how I feel.
1 Like
Let them become angrier. They try to frighten you that they will make you harm yourself or others. They dont control your body though. You do. Just dont use your body to do anything. Lie down in a bed or sit in a chair. Let them do whatever they want and after a horrible experience, they will go away. They will come back again sometime but now you will have experience in dealing with them. And you will feel great once they’re gone because alll the horrible fear you experienced will have ended. You will feel like a skydiver who has jumped out of a plane and is falling down with a parachute to a ground she cannot see feels like when she finally touches the ground.
Your parachute will be your sense of existence. Your sense of “I am”. Not I am or I am . Just I am.
The one truth you always know as long as you are experiencing anything. Doesnt matter what the anything is. Just experiencing life. Both the good and the bad.
1 Like
I want to be able to to do that but I have had one quiet moment where i haven’t heard anything since October and I’m exhausted. People often say to me that I’m just lazy and I’m using my mental illness as an excuse not to do anything but no one who doesn’t experience it has no idea draining it is to cope with 24/7.
1 Like