Over the last few days
And I feel like it wasn’t in my head
That it was real and in th world, not just my eyes
Now im confused and worried that “unseen” stuff or “otherworldly” exists and its pissing me off
I thought I was chilling but then it was like everything was hinting at me that nothing was chill at all
Ffs. - annoyed
Are you still taking antipsychotic meds?
Yeah, that craziest part is that I had my injection literally not too long back
The only difference was that I stopped using fluoxetine
That’s my goto problem/issue too.
Maybe mention all of this to your psychiatrist. There might be a connection.
I hear you man, it’s so unsettling
I texted my social worker, we’ll probably arrange an appointment at some point
You know what’s messing with me? I thought I came over a delusion but then this hallucinating was happening and idk why I wasn’t in any control at all
I’m just so baffled
Idek if psychosis is me anymore , it’s more like someone was doing it TO me rather than the former
I’m no afraid but I’m mad confused
I’m trying these days to do the best that I can. But for some reason someone outside/ inside is working against me. This is so much to go through. I have to be caring to myself and others.
That’s unfortunately the way it works. It took me ages to come to terms with that. I.e. that I couldn’t (completely?) trust my own mind.
@see121 yeah, it’s not pleasant at all
@everhopeful agreed. I don’t what’s real at the moment, and I don’t know what I was doing beyond what I remember. Without going into details, I feel like an embarrassment
I have no idea what’s happening most of the time. I just roll with it.
It’s bothering me bc I can’t see how I predict or function if I’m going to go into haywire modes and not know if I’m thinking for myself or thinking from chemicals deciding what to think if that makes sense
I feel like giving up but at the same time, inside I have this urgent drive to try to say **** it, let’s risk anyway
Yeah, that’s possibly a sign something psychotic has happened.
Make sure you feed all this back to your medical team.
That keeps me on meds even though they don’t really work for me.
You know, I was genuinely thinking I can could stop meds and now I’m pissed off because I’m thinking was I set up or was I genuinely just incapable of minding myself and being punished
It’s always happening in the same periods of time in the most similar of ways that I can’t help but feel like “fate” ■■■■■ me up
I don’t even think I believe any faith system can help me now - it’s like I’m questioning the point of being alive
Proper shitty situation
It was me throwing money away and making an idiot of myself to the point I came across like a loser
Ugh. What in the world is this illness man, ffs
I looked up remission in different places, namely Japanese remission nationally and Cambridge NHS Trust remission rates and it gave me hope but now I’m confused again thinking functional recovery is NOT the same as being content and just accepting that I’ve got limited power over myself sometimes
I don’t want to blame the universe but it’s like weird ■■■■ dictates me from outside
Look after yourselves during the festivities everyone 
it’s always the exciting times that psychosis creeps up for me
Edit. I’m smoking just to feel less stressed but this is gonna get out of hand
I feel better. It’s okay. I hope I can enjoy the festivities
Sorry to hear you’re going through all this man. Its awful stuff.
The worst part I struggle with, is the vulnerability element. I have to trust and go on the advice of everyone around me. I look outside now, its a grey bleak cold day. But if my Doctor and wife and everyone else said “No actually, it’s pitch black and snowing” Id have to trust and go along with them. But then I cant help but question. I cant help but feel genuinely in danger and that things are out to harm me, and for good reason. Just my reasons seem to make no sense to anyone. Just everyone thinks Im safe and not in danger. Thats where I struggle. Its like playing roulette and letting everyone else hold the trigger each turn.
Yea Russian Roulette with your senses is not easy to deal with. I hear you man, thank you for your words - I understand that pain you go through, it’s truly as you describe.
May you be okay
Sorry man… I dont really have advice but I bet you’ll get through. Just dont let it overwhelm you….
It’s alright man, I feel more or less back to myself. Just upset we have to go through this so often
Stay awesome my man
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