We were doing some foreplay and she asked me “How many girls have you had sex with” I say “I could count the amount of times ive had sex on 1 hand” and she says “Why is that?? You haven’t had any girlfriends or anything??” I say “No, ive had issues” and she says “what types of issues” i say “I’m diagnosed schizo-affective” and she immediately says before she can take another breathe “YOURE NOT GONNA KILL ME ARE YOU???”
I should have ended the date right there but I explained to her that “People with sz disorders are more likely to be victims of violence than perpertrators” and she says “OK sorry for my ignorance”
Well she didn’t get another call. But hopefully I broke into the stigma a bit. Damn I felt so victimized//oppressed. It was bad. Dang!!! I think she would have seen me again but she was allergic to my cat so there was no chance I could anyways.
Given all the stigma backed up by media it’s understandable that she was a bit ignorant of mental illness. At least she apologized. If you still like the girl I’d give her another chance. Good job keeping your cool.
I had the same problems with a woman that I dated for thirteen years. This woman’s grown daughter believed sincerely that because I was diagnosed sza, I was a true danger to her mother and to her and her three young children. This daughter thought that any day, I was going to go on a killing rampage and kill them all. I fought that stigma for thirteen years. I don’t date that woman’s mother anymore.
Main thing I liked about her was that she liked me…so I think shes not the right one. Besides she was highly allergic to my cat!!! Cant date someone whos allergic to cats TBT!!!
She didn’t even know what schizoaffective means she just thought “AM I GONNA DIE”
She even asked me “what does schizoaffective mean?” and I say “It means I need meds to be normal” that’s all I said at that point until later i said the thing about violence and she apologized.
I don’t know why, and I don’t say this to be fictitious, but whenever I tell someone that I have schizoaffective they never think, or ask if I am going to kill them. Even the lady in my building who I told my diagnosis to came over to my apartment and played games with me one night after I told her.
I told lady at volunteer job and she said she never would have guessed
Sometimes it’s good to put people straight because they otherwise don’t understand and come to their conclusion about you which they get wrong
People need to know a little bit of what you have to put up with
I say to say it loud and proud
Sometimes I get into volunteer/paid work with them knowing there’s something wrong with me somehow. Probably some workplace quota or bs like that. Anyway, they tend to think I’m retarded or something like that. I’d tell them exactly what’s wrong with me but I was comfortable with them thinking I was slow. It’s not far from the truth anyway. Heck, I don’t always tell everyone close to me exactly what my issue is. Labels can be deceptive and misinterpreted in many, unpredictable ways.
So BigJon…what’s it like. I’ve never experienced that before. You know. The nasty. The nasty business of having a date be totally allergic to your beloved furbaby. You did the right thing.
Well she didn’t runaway, you ■■■■■■ and things ended okay
I would consider it a successful night
We have to face the reality that people mostly do not have a clue about these things…young people predominantly.
My mother said the same thing to me when I told her I had mental illness. And that was my own mother!!! Your lucky you can just cut off contact with this person but try and understand her ignorance. I’m sure she didn’t mean any harm.
As ■■■■ as that night probably felt, I bet it’s something she’s going to remember for a long time. People who are unaware often think that they can tell when someone is SZ or ill and that they could never see themselves with someone who struggles with MI. Which I hope she realized that isn’t always the case considering you “flew under the radar” until she was in bed with you. I’m glad you had the courage to tell her that we are rarely ever a danger to other people. It amazes me that there are people who still think this way. Anyways I’m proud of you for saying the right thing at the right time. I wish I was that courageous.
I hope she spent some time on google learning a thing or two after that.
I felt so victimized//oppressed. It was bad. Dang!!! I think she would have seen me again but she was allergic to my cat so there was no chance I could anyways.
