Ive always feeled physically incomfortable in my body. I am not sure those were tactile(physical) hallucinations but maybe yes… I was sweating a lot because of the stress, ive experienced also somatic pains even though that in the past I was active… Ive also was lacking energy, I was depressed even as kid. Then came the faults of my character 
. I still try to not feel guilty but its tough, I feel like some devil with all my past…
thanks for reading, I still get sad that I spent so many years in isolation. I am the worst case here on this. 16 years between 4 walls 
tell me I couldn’t know cause I was ignorant about what sz is exactly?.. its a strange illness no?
I used to mourn over my regrets of the past but I gave it all to God and now I feel like I can be happy again. Try not to dwell in the past but live in the now…it’s all we got. I wish you the best.
2 Likes
thank you 
I have so much work on me still, gosh… I still need to clench teeth per moments, its tough… usually when I have dark thoughts… even my ex thought that I dont need meds but I just need to change. But I am not sure anymore, I cant get up from the bed if I am not on meds cause I start to look like a possessed person…
1 Like
Let’s enjoy a cup of tea, Anna, hugs 
I can’t read too well today.
1 Like
1 Like
Everybody has faults. Not everybody has schizophrenia. The disease called schizophrenia is not caused by moral failings. Very good people can become schizophrenic and very bad people can become schizophrenic. And everybody else in between. Bad choices can impede someones recovery. It’s mostly not our fault that we are schizophrenic but even with this disease we have choices. Like my sister told me 20 years ago," You got dealt a bad hand in life but it’s up to you to do the best that you can with what you are dealt."
I feel for you, it’s tough. But things can turn around.
1 Like
I am already 35 years old… it will take me years to recover. Ill be maybe 40 years old when ill feel a bit more stable and social, gosh…
Well, prepare for that day. Do what’s good for your health and mind and it will pay off in the future. By the way, you are really young. 35 isn’t that old at all and you must have some potential. I always figured I can work most jobs in my range if I am two things: healthy and teachable. I’m 56 and still working a semi-physical job.
2 Likes
I’ve learned that you can be cool with yourslf and change alot but if something grabs a nerve it grabs a nerve regardless of how much you know and how much you’ve changed. Triggers are triggers. Some run too deep