Sz and personality

Sz changed everything for the worse in me including my personality. Eventhough I have no positive symptoms I feel like I am living a life that isn’t mine. This isn’t my reality. I wasn’t born to stay in bed 24/7. I am not my real self because of brain or sz damage.

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I was never violent, aggressive, imaptient and impulsive before sz.

I was an A student before sz never got into problems. I can’t believe I death threatened ppl during psychosis and federal police came to my house to arrest me.

That’s rough. You don’t hold the record for messed up ■■■■, however

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YOu are living in the past again @Aziz . What matters now is what you do to improve your life in your current circumstances.

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Lol what about being nude with my psychiatrist. Voices told me to get nude when I was in the room with my psychiatrist. He told me to put back on my clothes.

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No way for improvement on a high dose of a very strong AP. All I can do is sedate myself with high doses and sleep all day.

bro I was thinking the same about myself, I was very confident and managed to spend many hours making animations, now with the negatives I feel less than before

I’m suffering along with you

I’m rooting for us to get better

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Thanks @Andres_Britas

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Lol, that deserves some kind of prize for the funniest symptom or delusion category. I bet your psychiatrist tells that story at parties, lol.

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Its easy to look back at before schizophrenia and see what you were. But the matter of fact is that the “new normal” is a different person. I was very outgoing before sz. And funny. Im still funny but not on purpose. But sometimes the things i say make my parents laugh even if i dont mean to be funny.

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I was a putz pre-SZ and I’m a putz now.

At least I’m consistent.

:grin:

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The difference between presz and postsz is too huge that its making suicidal. I was almost successful at that twice before. Thats unacceptable.

Wow. Thats scary. A lot of post sz is learning how to cope with the disease. And acceptance that you have it. My depression is much worse now than it ever was pre sz.

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I was afraid he would report me to the police.

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Good thing it was a man. If it was a women she would have certainly reported me to the police for sexual assault.

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I feel the same. Damn zyprexa, I wish I could go off it. I hate this drug! I only lay on the couch. I haven’t showered for two weeks. I don’t do anything. I only check this forum and read the news. That’s it! I have a brand new computer, I also have a switch but I don’t use them.

I was a student and was ready to apply for university. Then boom, psychosis. I have difficulties with abstract thinking and my memory is crap. I’ll probably never be able to get back to my studies.

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I gave up on studying and my dreams long time ago. I just want to be independant and be able to walk and go outside, outside my bed. I am slowly dying of physical diseases after losing my will power and gaining 175lb.

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Yeah, I know what you mean. Pre- Sz I used to walk, work out, jog and do all kinds of things.

Today I barely walk out through the door. I only go to get groceries. I often buy a grilled chicken and I cook rice with my rice boiler. It takes minimum effort. Also my mother brings me food sometimes.

I sleep a lot. 12½ hours straight. I look tired, but I do suffer from sleep apnea. I don’t receive treatment for it because I don’t see the point. Meds make me lethargic anyways. I’ll be tired even if I get the breathing device (CPAP).

I hate the fact that I can’t work. I wish I could! I feel like a parasite living off disability. And everyone knows. My neighbors say I’m insane, that there is something wrong with me, that I don’t work.

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Pre Sz: introverted/shy/physically and socially awkward/quite asocial
Sz: introverted/very socially anxious/physically and socially awkward/quite asocial/ prone to paranoia

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