He was saying that, due to the long-term trauma I was in, it is rather not normal for me to be sane.
If I was pressing all of these emotions for 12-13 years without talking about them to others (and often feeling ashamed of what others had said), it wouldn’t be normal for me to not develop schizophrenia. I.e. it’s not my fault, and anyone who would have been in that situation would be deeply damaged.
I was a child. 8 years old. I was abused from 8-12 years. I was bullied the entire time due to my high grades and low social skills. I struggled with maternal relationship with my mother because of her marriage. So I endured a ton.
So yes, it’s okay to have schizophrenia and it’s not my fault. I’ve always been ashamed of it.
He also told me about this well-known person who is now an expert on schizophrenia/alcoholism. I can’t remember his name, but he said that this person overcame the illness. Despite still having sz, he thrives over it and now he’s an expert on sz.
thats a very wise statement i think. I think sometimes we need to remember that anyone would struggle under the pressure many of us deal with every day.
Much “anti-psychiatric” thinking -which we’re not allowed to discuss on the forum except covertly, i.e., making the reference too high-brow for moral enforcers to pick on- is based on such a premise. The road to sanity is a personal one, but not in the trite way it’s usually articulated by medical staff.
Im really glad you finally seem to start being able to understand that it really isnt your fault! This is really huge, Im so glad your therapist seems really good, I hope you continue on the path to recovery and learning to love yourself again!
@MisterCrowley Thank you- I’m gaining much insight from my sessions these days. @anon53623539 I’ve already forgiven them but it’s hard to cope with the memories. I won’t, don’t worry. @ThePoet Thank you. Yes, it’s a good statement to remember. @NotSeksoEmpirico I’m having a really hard time understanding your comment but I think he has a different approach. @zwolfgang Thank you. I know that it is so hard but I’ll continue to try. @firemonkey He never said trauma is the factor per se, but he said it could have made me susceptible to sz. I think he was talking about it this way because of the voices that I was hearing. Voices in the past used to say things that the abusers were telling me.
I think that’s a good way to look at it. My trauma changed me so much. And I guess it makes sense that I got so bad. This post has been insightful. Thank you for sharing
I dont think anythings a stand alone factor to be honest, but i guess we all have differing major contributing factors both genetic and life related that cause a breakdown. In terms of life stress abuse for some people i think can be a major factor almost so that the scale wouldn’t have tipped had they not had that trauma…they may have stayed just below the level of a major breakdown maybe? i dunno i have a lot to learn. Thanks @firemonkey