I gotta stop it somehow i just gotta figure out how
@Kazuma I do hope you are doing o k? Please don’t hurt yourself and call a friend or family member about how you feel? Please seek help.
2 Likes
Kazuma, you are a wonderful person and I’m sorry you’re in pain.
3 Likes
@Kazuma what’s going on? Do you have a friend or roommate who can take you to the hospital or call 911? I’m worried about you.
1 Like
Please get help @Kazuma. Are you still on 15mg?
Let us know what is bothering you.
I’ve found that some of my best times have come right after some of my worst times. Maybe if you got a change of scenery it would help.
Sending a hug. Lots of characters
1 Like
I do hope you will figure out how soon. 
My whole existence has been planned by the whole system to torture me. Everything and everyone is part of the system and ur my horror movie. It won’t ever end. My whole life. The isolation, everyone using me, telling me “they were using me for food but still kinda liked hanging out.” The schizoaffective. The voices. I not only hear how worthless i am from my mind but also the outside world. U all control everything. U keep poking me with a knife until i couldn’t take it and drove myself into a tree. But that wasn’t enough. U all keep going until what…until i get to do it all again whenever i die. U call me a loser a piece of ■■■■but then tell me to get my life right. But u already know right? U know im already saying this because ur making me say this. Ur controlling my every thought and everything i see and do. U keep inserting subjects into my realm to keep it fun for u. U wont even give me enough money to go end myself. Not yet anyway. Im not even gonna beg and plead to stop all this cause we know u won’t.
You’re in a bad place Kazuma. Can you tell me if you’re still on 15mg of olanzapine?
When am i not and no im not. U already know that.
1 Like
Why aren’t you on 15mg of olanzapine? It’s got to be better than what you’re going through right now. 
1 Like
Hang in there Kazuma
We all need our meds ,your not alone.
Sometimes, in certain threads, someone mentions meds and I really just want to say “how about you ■■■■off”
I can relate to this thread right now, kazuma. Very much so.
I don’t know anymore
1 Like
Get back on your meds, and give it all some time. You’re being tortured by the disease right now. Meds are better than being tortured. Trust me.
2 Likes
15mg olanzapine was half the dose I used to take daily and I was still psychotic half the time.
Think you need to stop thinking of cure and start thinking in the term recovery!
It’s like a consumers nightmare what help and hope there is out there for you.