I find it sad that I sometimes have to distance myself from

some certain people. I believe it is because I am oversensitive to some certain people. For example, this includes specific people from my past before I became ill. No one is to blame imo, it just is like that because of the way I am made and the way the world works. Kind of like an allergic reaction to pollen. There is nothing bad about pollen, but still, my body reacts to it in an extremely defensive way for some reason, so defensive that it harms me. (I think that is how allergies work :thinking:, not entirely sure but I think something along those lines maybe).
Yea it really sucks big time to me.

I have the time to be upset and it is good for me to not supress that (I like the idea of togetherness a lot that is the thing) and then try and move on in the way that suits me.

At the end of the day, I believe that we are all connected somehow, so it is not all bad, I just have to put into place some restrictions for however long I need to, to feel ‘safe’ in myself, if that may be for life then so be it, not trying to imply those other people are bad people, but just in the sense that when I overact to some people in terms of emotionally, it makes me feel not right.

But overall, it is all good, because what good does it do to think of life negatively, and because like anyone, I try to adapt. I believe there is a good purpose in everything in my life, somehow.

Does anyone relate to any of that? :thinking:

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I avoid my dad and a sister a lot. They trigger me. I see them about twice a year for a few hours. That’s all I can handle

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I think it is a lesson to me, to see more that everyone is equally great, not just some certain people that I am forced to distance myself from.

yeah I think that is it.

To stop putting certain people on pedestals, whilst the rest are not.

Everyone is great.

There is nothing wrong about feeling that some people just aren’t right for you.

Think of it along the lines that you would never have certain flavors in the same dish. You wouldn’t sprinkle porridge with chilli, but that doesen’t mean that either one of the ingredients are lesser. They just don’t go well together.

So I think it is with people as well. Some people work well together, while others shouldn’t have much to do with each other, but that doesen’t mean there is a problem really.

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Yea, I was also thinking something like that too.

Like, in the body you have a liver and a brain for example.

None is lesser, but they are never near each other.

:+1:

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@Mr_Hope

Well actually the reason why I used that example is actually because I like the fact that there is still some connectivity via the blood flow even if the organs are distanced from one another.

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Lots of organs in the body never see each other their whole life yet they keep a human being alive

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but that is a really good point too.

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If the liver had a say in taking a drink or not… :wink:

Yeah I get your meaning. It’s the same in society. It takes all kinds to make the world go around even if some of them has little to with each other.

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things sometimes hurt or stress me from the over-reaction and that means that there is a fear of future over-reactions, in particular fearing even worse over-reactions to come. It makes a lot of stress

Maybe it has elements of avoidant personality disorder.

from wiki:
As the name suggests, the main coping mechanism of those with AvPD is avoidance of feared stimuli.[1]
Those affected display a pattern of severe social anxiety, social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation and rejection, and avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire for intimacy.[2]

yeh I guess it has to do with low self confidence

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But I feel like even with improved self confidence (something I’d like to try), IDK if it would ever go away fully, the avoidant trait. (in me personally)

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I also avoid stuff that can hurt me. I’m not walking into a torture chamber willingly.

When it comes to other people I’m learning to stay away from those who treat me badly or are trying to use me as a pawn in their chessgame to satisfy their own agenda. Sometimes this means being hostile…or maybe “non compliant” is a better term.

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Just in case anyone is paranoid, I have got nothing against any of the forum members here :s

But @Mr_Hope makes a good point, you don’t put chilli in your porridge

or sugar in your cream cheese

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in fact, I am in a very fortunate period in my life because I actually do not hate anyone in life that I know of.

it feels good.

I believe it will stay that way

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That’s a great attitude to have. Hate only hurts the personwho feels it.

I have a very few people I don’t like, but I don’t waste energy thinking about them. If they appear somehow, which they rarely do I just treat them “non compliant”. That is enough. Mostly because they have done things that is impossible to forget, and also they never asked for forgivenes.

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‘negative evaluation’

I have done this several times in the past, am trying to be more positive about everybody now.

‘rejection’

I have done this for specific reasons I try to be as inclusive as I can now because I know what it feels like to be non included

‘extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation’

IDK if it is paranoia or real when I’ve felt this

‘put someone on a pedestal’

Just looked up the meaning of this. that was not what I meant.

Since everybody is just real.

Not sure how to put it in words right now, what I was trying to really say.

No sorry I meant, if it’s real or imagined.

I tell myself that there are plenty of fishies in the sea. In terms of hoping to meet new people. One day. Otherwise I would not be able to bear it. That I have to distance myself from certain people.