All I remember is trying to run away to America on a local train without my coat and phone, bear in mind i live in England. Then my brother took me to hospital. I remember shouting and screaming and trying to get out… but I had no sense of time … It all felt like a dream and I wonder if this actually happened. The pdoc thought this was weird I couldn’t remember.
2 Likes
From my first episode I have vivid memories of a trip to Spain, except one day which is totally blank. God knows what I might’ve done during those 24 hours, luckily it hasn’t come back to bite me.
1 Like
So it’s pretty common to have a blackout? My first episode was more vivid than this one.
I don’t know how common it is.
In later episodes my perception of time was off, and I got dates mixed up on several occasions, but no blackouts.
1 Like
Memory-related effects from bipolar disorder have been termed as a “brain fog” or a “bipolar blackout” where the person remains conscious but they’re unable to recall the memories during their high and low periods due to the rapid volatility of their mood swings.
Hmmm I wonder if this could be why. I mean, the antidepressants could be a reason.
2 Likes
I’m a blackout drinker. A lot of my late teens and early twenties are blank spots in my memory. Be happy with 80%.
1 Like
I feel the same way. I’m slowly starting to receive info on psychotic episodes I have absolutely no memory of, but don’t doubt really happened.
It’s frightening
1 Like
It is common to not remember most of what occured while being in a state of extreme fear.
1 Like
Unfortanately i remember most of my episodes. Even got a bit of ptsd from the first one.
So maybe not remembering it is better.
1 Like
I have to recalibrate with asking my staff if they’ve ever seem me unwell which I strongly believe I’ve never been unwell and they ALL stay they’ve seen me psychotic with extreme mood swings. I still think I haven’t got anything mentally wrong with me.
2 Likes
I remember most of what happened during my psychosis. It feels like a bad dream. I dont remember things i said. But i remember all of what i did. It haunts me.
1 Like
My community nurse wrote in a community treatment order letter to the tribunal I have limited insight into my illness.
2 Likes
Outsiders often have better critiques of us than ourselves. Its a proven psychological fact. People cant self criticize.
2 Likes
That’s why people talk to me like I’m special needs in the community as I must portray this way to people outside services. I’m dead paranoid about that!
2 Likes
It’s scary… Makes me scared of myself more than anything.
I also get get blackouts on mania where I do stuff i don’t remember.
1 Like
Someone told me I said something about abusing crack and I don’t remember any of that. I also doubt I ever used crack.
1 Like
when I wrote a book about my delusional journey it was fresh in my mind immediately after a seven month stint in psychosis…can’t hardly remember anything now because I ignore it when I think about it for my mental health.
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.