Because when I was being evaluated I faked having a thought disorder by pretending to have vague, tangential speech. I still had my mood problems, but I remember faking the speech because I thought mentally ill people were supposed to have that kind of speech. Now I don’t know if my disorder is real or not. I heard voices and had visions and think the North Korean government wants to kidnap me but don’t know if this is real since I faked what I mentioned.
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Unless you have been completely lying to us all for years, I have no doubt that your mental illness is real. If you faked some aspect of it to your doctors I have no idea but you have definitely shown us your delusional beliefs on this forum.
I don’t think you are faking it.
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What do you mean by I have no idea?
I mean I have no idea if you faked your speech issues with your doctor. If you say you did, then I guess you did, but you certainly don’t seem to be faking your other issues. You have posted them many many times.
Be honest with your doctors, it’s the only way they can know what is really going on, and they can’t treat you properly if they don’t know what the real problem is.
I’ve had a few mental health practitioners look at me like I am nuts, and I didn’t like that, but I’ve also had ones that were understanding and compassionate. I’ve been through a lot over the last 17 years but I was always honest with my doctors and I am doing better than ever now.
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I’m honest now but wasn’t before.
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That’s all that matters. And for the record, I don’t think you’re faking now
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But what about before when I was faking my speech?
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Why does it matter? Your symptoms now are real.
Because it makes me think I don’t have the disease, if I faked it before. Do you think this is true?
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Before was back then. Now is now. Today isn’t the same day as years ago.
Do you still believe you’re going to be forced to be a dictator? If you believe it, you are not faking
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No. I don’t believe that you are faking your symptoms now. Just because you faked a certain aspect of you illness, it does not make your other symptoms invalid.
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There have been multiple times I thought I was faking having seizures, mental disorders, psychotic and manic episodes…etc.
In fact, my first episode ever when I finally got to see a Psychiatrist I thought I was faking as well and faking things to the doctor. I also thought he called my parents and I a-holes and almost got him fired. Didn’t really happen and he’s still my friend/doctor today.
Doctors are pretty educated these days and can tell when a person is legitimately faking a mental disorder. If they diagnosed you with one, odds are you have it and it’s your mind telling you otherwise, it’s not the truth.
It’s a very typical symptom of a mental disorder to feel you fake it. A normal person would never have that thought. It’s due to the weak sense of self we schizophrenics are having. It’s easy to feel like a fake, when you don’t have a solid and structured sense of self.
Don’t worry, you are a true looney. 
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This. While ago I came across a post online saying similar thing about people with mental illness feeling they feel like they are faking illness.
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