I used to show signs of psychopathic deviance but now I test in the 99th percentile for conscientiousness. I still have a very short fuse, if someone yells and cusses at me, I yell back twice as loud. I am very nice to people I meet, and my friends can rely on me for favors and such. I try to be different than how I was when I was diagnosed, and I scored in the 75th percentile for psychopathic deviance when I took the MMPI-2. I have come a long way and attribute that score to being psychotic and having poor insight into my illness (I wasnt even diagnosed) when I took that evaluation. I have taken online personality tests and now I come up in the 85th percentile for aggression but 99th percentile for conscientiousness.
So how do those numbers work out? Well I am an amateur powerlifter, so that’s where all of my aggression goes, into the barbell. I am pretty docile and friendly unless someone just outright verbally attacks me, then I yell back twice as loud. I have a conflicted personality, you could say. On the DISC personality inventory I took in school, I tested extremely highly for both compliance and dominance and zero for submission and inducement, so that makes no sense…but the stereotype for people with those traits is “creative”, so I guess alot of artists and inventors are a little conflicted too.
As long as no one yells the F word or other insults or commands at me, I’m very gentle. Once that happens, they get hell unleashed on them and I make it clear that I am not to be insulted. Fortunately, only my sister (who is unmedicated bipolar) uses the F word on me and she knows better. My parents blame her, they tell her to go away and dont say anything to me. I look back at the hell I have endured from psychosis and I just dont find myself in the mood for accepting disrespect, I survived hell to come back stronger and in remission on medication.
I have a problem with authority, ever since I was a child I thought I should be the leader. My Myers-Briggs personality type, the INTJ, is basically oblivious to other leaders and only lets them lead if he considers them superior to himself. That’s what I do in social settings, if no one steps up to organize things, I immediately gather all of my friends together. I do acknowledge authority in my sport, powerlifting. I take ask for advice and supervision from the highest ranked lifters in my gym…because theyre better than me at lifting!