I down play my symptoms

I hate talking about it… I’m being under cared for… and I know its my fault… but I still can’t talk about somethings with other people… how do i get over this mountain of my own making… I cant just do it like my shoe brand says…

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What do you feel keeps you from talking to people about it? Embarrassment? Fear of Reprisal or hostility?

I don’t know if this helps but it might assist you to tell yourself that this schizophrenia is not you. It is an illness. Being ashamed of schizophrenia is like being ashamed of cancer or having the flu.

Also, and I question whether I should say this, make sure that if you do talk to someone it is someone you trust. Definitely talk to your pdoc. Always. They’ve dealt with people like you before. You aren’t going to frighten them away. But friends and family, make sure you are very secure in your relationship with them if you are going to talk specifics about topics such as disturbing images etc.

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no shame no fear… hospitalization is easy to escape if i wanted… I snuck out twice for cigarettes… and was back in my guarded room before the police arrived no one noticed the second time…

any time i even write it down i have major problems for weeks after… I just have to stay distracted and talking about it is the opposite of distrated…

That makes complete sense. I spend most of my time distracting myself. So you are afraid to talk about it because it kind of drags you deeper in?

Hopefully someone else on the board will be able to provide better information. But the only thing I can think of is stress management. You need to concentrate on remaining calm while you talk about it so you can. Talking really helps. It’s a good form of stress management in itself. Pain shared is pain halved after all.

The way I sort of view when I have trouble is like a summer storm. I just try to be as calm as possible and weather it. I try to be as quiet and safe as possible while it passes by. Learning to breathe and remain tranquil on the inside might help you so you can remain calm enough to talk to someone. So maybe ask your pdoc if he or she can help you deal with stress. And then try talking it out when you get more comfortable?

I really hope you find a way so you can talk about it easier. I wish I could be a better help.

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I think getting it out in the open takes away from the delusions’ power. Once on the table, it’s more obvious how unreal it is. Also, the other person’s response will make it seem less of a bizarre thing. The response might be, “So what?” As long as you don’t buy your own delusions too much.

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Do you think that you might be using avoidance as a coping mechanism?

If you distract yourself, in the short term, you can avoid the stress of dealing with your symptoms or talking about your symptoms. The only problem with this strategy is that this will almost certainly increase your stress in the long term and also not allow you to work on your symptoms and address them.

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Sort of where I’m at now.

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it’s ingrained from childhood…

side note…I just snuck up on an armidillo… they squeal like pigs when you whisper boo within arms reach… their also faster than i expected…

Hmm so my short term distraction tactic has run its course of usefulness… I need to adapt to the change or lose my mind… why do the stakes have to be so high…

good stuff… just breath and let it out… maybe I won’t be hospitalized for honesty…maybe I should be…

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Can you maybe work with a therapist to open up more about your symptoms?

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lol I’ve never heard them make any verbal noise before… if i wasn’t afraid of contacting leprecy id paint a red design on its armor…

maybe… but the last one was a fail… and my selections are slim… I was offered a case manager maybe try that out first.

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I used to love owls. But then I watched a video of baby owls hissing. Freaked me out. So because of that I refuse to watch the armadillo video lol.

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Yup… Yikes. Thought I was the only one

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heavy religious delusions.coupled with a religious military family… I thought i was possessed and didn’t want to seem weak… better to hide it…

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I just got used to keeping things hidden.

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keep it hidden, keep it safe… but that’s not healthy… it’s just hard to explain to strangers… phd or not…

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@flameoftherhine I don’t understand why you feel you are under cared for? Do you see a psychiatrist and therapist? I mean if it’s delusions do you take meds for them? Just trying to understand if you are being treated for delusions how are you under cared for? confused. I know i’ve had them and discussed them with my psychiatrist and therapist and was put on an ap. occassionally I’ll get new delusions but the treatment for old or new delusions would be the same ap, right? Is that your situation? Or are you not being treated for your delusions? Is that what you mean by under cared for?

I should be on real anxiety meds… not dam prescription benadryl… my gabapenton doesnt work everyday… so every other day id rather be dead… but if i say all that I might end up hospitalized…

I am on an ap… haven’t got a psychiatrist yet still debating it…

oh you are just on anxiety meds? I see so you haven’t discussed delusions in general just the anxiety? so that’s why you feel under cared for that makes sense. I mean I was prescribed anxiety meds and ap. The aps don’t take away my delusions completely but push them to the back of my mind . but i can still get mini ones for short time and will but recognize they are delusions and will say can you believe this weird thought. but it is the same treatment but yeah if there is delusions i think most docs give aps.