I think I am closetly a bit ashamed of my sz

Was listening to the radio and a program about health conditions was on. People phoned in and spoke loads about their various health conditions.

It occurred to me I would never speak to someone so frankly about what I am going through.

For instance I was at a dinner party in January and a woman there was telling the table all about her depression and anxiety. I would never have the guts to do that.

Actually is not just guts maybe it is also my skewed view of dignity. Apart from with family I think I believe it more dignified to not talk about my sz. Not sure if this is healthy or not


Gonna have to accept,

but maybe not cram it down anyone’s throat.


I just returned to work today. When co-workers asked me where i was the last 2 months, I simply replied…

“Just went in for a 60 point tune-up!”

And everyone was okay with the answer…no one pryed or asked any further questions. A small handful of people at work know I am Sz…but not many.


I hear you, the only way i would talk about it is in the sense of recovery, i rarely tell people what it was like although i did it recently on my clubhouse message board but that’s different i was talking about how far i have come since then,

I’m not going to start shouting about poor me this or poor me that, i’m not going to look for sympathy, i have my dignity,

if i was symptomatic again i’d share on here but that’s different bc this forum was made specifically for that purpose, i probably would get suspended for religious delusions or something so i guess i would be screwed that way

I used to be very ashamed of my illness, in fact I would only describe what happened to me as being afflicted with an illness. But then I’ve grown to be more accepting of myself, slowly but surely. It wasn’t until the spring/summer of last year that not only was I accepting of myself, but also wanted to be more open with others. And now, my high school knows, my family knows, and my friends know. I even gave a speech about my schizophrenia in speech class in front of the whole class, including people I used to have delusions about. I did it to reduce stigma and also for myself to reassure my positive attitude about this destructive illness.


Atta boy!

That was really brave of you to make that speech in front of your classmates!

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Thank you. It was ver nerve-wracking, but I just envisioned myself feeling proud and accomplished of sharing my story. And that helped calm my nerves. I also found out I’m not too bad giving speeches, so that’s a plus.


That is very brave. Amazing you have reached that point. I’m proud of you.


I bet you inspired some others with your speech as well.


My sisters of course know I have schizophrenia as does my step-dad and step-mom. That’s my whole family. They all know I’ve been hospitalized because of it. But I really never talked to any of them about what my illness entails.

It’s just these last few years I felt the need to tell them my experiences of being mad and some details about being inside a mental hospital and what it actually felt like to suffer from this disease.

They already know bits and pieces but I want them to understand more. Also, once I broached the subject they had questions and it seemed they were curious and I think they would find it interesting about my 40 years in the mental health system. They know about my life of being employed for more than 36 years, and I tell them of my experiences as an addict but they don’t know about my life being hospitalized for 8 months and other subsequent multiple hospitalizations.

I find it interesting myself because it’s a life experience that not a lot of people experience first hand.


It’s a hard thing to describe the sz experience and it’s hard for people to relate. I tell a few people and my family and friends most of them knew me when I was psychotic. Still. It’s too hard to explain sometimes…it’s not shame for me it’s just practicality. Like some folk at the cricket club know and I’m pretty up front about not working and being on a DSP…still. I’m sure most think I’ve other personalities. I’ve tried explaining it’s about positive and negative symptoms but in the end I just tend to keep it quiet…For my sanity

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Nothing to be ashamed of.
The majority don’t mind a friend with SZ.

I don’t volunteer the information, but if someone asks then I have no problem explaining. I dunno, I guess I always felt like it was something that happened to me, which resulted in a lack of shame.

that’s why I wrote my book…I thought and my reviews most of them talk about how they cared about a mentally ill person and how they did through it all…you should write a book @77nick77 very inspiring story your life is…

@John_Raven thank you for sharing…

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