I’m just scared. I’ve made a plan to go to library tomorrow and have lunch, but I’m just SO scared.
I’ve realized that the studying room will be filled with young people, which is my age?
I’ve done therapy for PTSD for 3 years, and nothing seems to help. I’ve done EMDR but it doesn’t help either. I’m just so scared after watching news about a schizophrenic who murdered a person (may she/he rest in peace) and I feel like…if any word got out my family’s done. I’m so paranoid, so scared, so afraid, and so shaken that I know that every move of me can affect my family.
My mom says to me, “The abuse was 11 years ago. You can’t forget that…still? It’s so long ago.”
I don’t know, mom- I wish I knew.
Most of all, I’m just scared of people. PTSD is a scary thing…
So I’ve made this plan: work myself till I get tired. Study hard, do all the chores, and don’t let your mom do it. I’ll do it all, and she doesn’t have to. She suffered enough because of me.
If I’m tired, I’ll forget about PTSD. Although my MD muscles will start to be in severe pain, I’m ok with that…