My sister and her husband called it quits a few months ago after 10 or 11 years of marriage. I guess I was on good terms with him. We weren’t friends or anything and we never hung out, just me and him ever. But we bonded a little over war stories about when we each did drugs back a long time ago.
But they divorced and he moved to Hawaii. After they split up I sent him one respectful friendly e-mail because I figured he deserved it after all those years of knowing him. Now it’s come back to bite me. He sent me a few return e-mails, I replied to one and ignored the rest.
He’s not a terrible guy but I don’t want to start up any regular communication with him. I don’t want to put out the effort. But just last week he not only sent me a message through Linked in, but now he invited me out to lunch. I read the message and I do not want to go. To be honest, I don’t want any communication. Even my sister said that he needs to find his own friends and relationships and not bug his ex-wife’s family.
I want to be polite, and being an idiot, I’m worried about hurting his feelings if I decline going to lunch or stop communicating with him. He’s putting me in an awkward position that I do not need right now. I feel I owe him something but I need to toughen up and look out for my own best interests. I hate to be mean but I can’t see any other possible way out of it. I know the divorce was hard on him and he’s lonely but he’s imposing on me.