I’m undiagnosed, but I’m finally believing the things I’ve been experiencing for the last year are due to schizophrenia. I haven’t spoken to anyone about my experiences. It’s been heavy carrying it all.
I’m hesitant to go into details. On one hand, it would be a relief for this to all be in my mind, and on another, I’ve been in such scary situations which keep this all very real.
I don’t want to go to a doctor, I’ve been through the ropes throughout my life, and I have always been the driving factor to my own recovery. For context, I’m in my early thirties, and have struggled with depression, adhd, ptsd, agoraphobia, and other lesser, mental illnesses. All of which I have achieved great strides in overcoming without medication or medical intervention.
Before I began having hallucinations (visual, auditory, tactile) about a year ago, I was the healthiest I had ever been mentally, and emotionally. Now, I am often frustrated with the peristance of my voices. They’re unrelenting. I realized about a month ago melatonin helps keep them quieter, and have just started taking valerian root, which seems to work better. I worry when these will stop working.
I think I’ve done remarkably well on my own in dealing with my experiences, however, I’m hitting a rut. I feel very alone, oddly enough. I live in a small town, with no resources or support groups. I recently moved here out of necessity and do not have any friends, and my family is not the type to understand or be of help.
I’d like to talk about my experiences (maybe with a smaller audience), and to hopefully connect with similar minds. Any kind words or encouragement would also be helpful.