I don't know where i belong on the internet

I’m a member of 4 different forums. They all got their pros and cons. I just don’t know where to focus my energies tbh

You don’t have any obligation to anyone, including yourself, to commit ANY energy into any of the forums. My advice is to stop thinking about it as a chore; take the path of least resistance and your heart will take you to the forum that gives you the most relief from your anguish.

This is precisely why I hang out here the most; you guys are awesome. I don’t even think I have Sz anymore (I’m not diagnosed, don’t worry!), but I feel more at home here than on forums that specifically address my formal diagnoses.

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I was on a PTSD forum as well but it was sooo much slower than this one, and I’d already made several friends on here anyways. I have one other site I went on that was just for sharing general experiences that was great but it’s closing down now :frowning:

I like to have multiple forum communities that I putter around in. Different communities have different cultures and focuses. Sometimes the things I want to vent about are not appropriate for this place.

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Here wer there is alot of ppl like u…:kissing:

i frequent here and facebook. i like both for certain reasons. im more open here tho.

I like to just read BBC news as a break from this forum - lots of stories there.

sometimes social media depresses me… i only like this forum and instagram where i look at pics of artists and illustrators.

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szdotcom are the only forums I am part of. No FB or anything like that due to fear

I have not found anywhere else where there are a bunch of humans who make sense interacting pleasantly (for the most part). Plus everyone here is honest, interesting, funny, and helpful the vast majority of the time on subjects that are most important to me.

But I also notice I don’t belong here for whatever reason (age? severe MI but not dxed with sz anymore? that I am also a family member? since I have never belonged anywhere and never understood why?), so I really deeply appreciate everyone letting me be here. Thank you.

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This site is the only place for me… No doubt. Only place I’ve ever clicked with anyone.

My last forum died, it’s still alive as in a handful of people post there. It’s like me it’s stubbornly continuing it’s existence long after when it all but literally died. So I eventually showed up here. My problem with forums is that I like them, they have fulfilled my need to communicate with others (not that I don’t do that in my life in the world outside the internet but there are times) But the problems have been that I have been less than anonymous probably due to my oblivious and naturally trusting nature, and that I lost my mind in recovering and subconsciously making sense of and piecing together my life story and have only recently recovered due to taking several supplements for brain health.

My other problem is that I’m a drunk, especially when it comes to liqour (and I no posting while inebriated is against forum policy) But I admittedly do have a drinking problem and when I overdo it I dwell on trying to make sense of my fractured life and mind. So When I occasionally post what (on here) are considered the writings of a mad man off his cure all “meds”, well no, I am on medication, I am actually feeling more sane and with it than I have since I was very young. It’s just that when I have too much to drink I begin to dwell, not always, but often, on the fractured memories, true or imagined and there are both, and at the same time feel a strong desire to communicate this. Before web forums it was drunk dialing and insane voicemails, now it’s internet posts.

I was a member of a few forums in my 20’s but these were both geared towards games then in development and when my drinking and hence posts got out of hand I was simply reminded that there was an off topic section. This website, which has been becoming one of the bane of my existances lately though I still continue to post, is in my opinion, for a forum for people with schizophrenia and related diagnoses, rather intolerant and heavy handed towards people wishing to discuss their struggle with unusual experiences and yes hostile to those who at times embrace a differing view point. I believe I’ve walked the line for the most part and when I’m over the top I’ve honestly probably been drinking.

But in my honest opinion, I see this site’s reaction to those expressing eccentric views or at worst suffering in the very abyss of mental illness, medicated or not, which it has become the norm to decide that these people are simply “not medicated” I see in this site a s nod in the direction of the concept of forced medication and absolute acceptance of the current model which bullies out any opposing, differing or challenging views, which is in my opinion, maybe the worst result of a capitilaist culture but extremely bad science.

when i got out of the hospital alst May i went looking for a forum that dealt specifically with my diagnosis – major depressive disorder with psychotic symptoms – but i could not find any that were active.

i tried signing up for depression forums but um. depression forums… are depressing. they are emotionally exhausting. there’s a lot of “wahh i’m depressed” versus “i’m on magic happy pills and i believe everyone here can get better if they just try hard and believe in themselves!!” so it’s all bs

i found sz forums shared my experience more accurately than others, and i figured when i signed up here that i would probably just loiter around and not make a nuisance of myself

but as time goes on i realize that depression comes first in my diagnosis only because of its depth, and that the psychotic symptoms are not a footnote, they are a huge part of my daily life; and that my diagnosis doesn’t fully acknowledge my whole experience, and probably needs to be changed…

anyhow. i have a couple of adoptables sites i visit online. i used to do a lot of tumblr and fb stuff but tumblr makes me super anxious and fb makes me angry and sad. so mostly right now i play games online, visit here, occasionally check reddit, look up stuff i’m interested in on google. that’s it.

How old is old? I’m 33 and severely dopamine deficient. I just ride the impulse train to circus-ville. Why not? You’all need a class clown. I chat loud, but really … I expletively hate loud noises. And the optimism of society just seems to demand balancing out with cynicism, which is my forte. That’s why I’m here instead of there lol

Don’t let the naivity and superficiality of the “real world youth” bring you down, mate. It’ll catch up with them and they’ll be wishing they had a little more experience coping with a sloppy serving of reality.

Also, you don’t have to like everyone. Younger people are freaking annoying until proven otherwise in my book. I take that philosophy too far perhaps, but you get my drift :slight_smile:

You belong with us my friend.

Your energy made it’s way back to us because this is where you belong.

And lucky you, you get to hear me some more. Enjoy!

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