I don’t wanna hurt anyone anymore. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to be awake. I don’t want to be alive.
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My dad died nearly 20 years ago. I have been alive without him longer than I have with him. It still guts me every single day that I can’t talk to him anymore. If you don’t want to be a burden, the best thing you can do is stick around.
The next best thing you can do is make a list of things you need support with, and ways your loved ones can help with that.
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I don’t either, but I am. I tried getting off the meds once to get a job while living with my dad. I even tried very minimal doses of risperdal like .25mg or less. I got paranoid. I left my volunteering job with no notice and haven’t really done anything since.
I cannot get myself past college registration or inquiring. I mean I probably need disability services like help and stuff because I don’t listen sometimes and zone out. I couldn’t do it.
My dad is a jerk and makes me feel unwanted or weak or w/e. Like I’m a burden too. He could do more, but doesn’t or he verbally abuses me. Wouldn’t even really let me come over to his house for dinner when he lived close by.
I never was close or liked my stepfather but since he got older or w/e he is trying his best to be nice to me and vice versa.
I feel like my negatives or avolition or lack of motivation and pleasure stem from all medications and I tried getting off of them. It feels surreal like I got extreme paranoia and delusions and probably get psychotic or triggered too easy.
I’m not stupid, but I am afraid and have fears.
I live with my mom, brother, and stepfather. Mom never worked at all until recently.
Only thing going for me in the long run is my dad said he’s giving me whatever he has when he dies some day. That’s nice, I guess. I probably won’t be homeless I guess…
My mom had afib last night so things are scary for all of us.
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You’ve been on a downward spiral for quite some time now. You should talk to your doc, perhaps you can get your meds sorted out? Because something isn’t working.
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I accept you @Moon
I don’t believe in pain but I feel it
There is nothing worse then not wanting to be alive or exist
Please don’t burden yourself with anything
I feel pain because something is wrong but not because I am wrong.Nobody should be in pain. The reason for pain is to alert something is not as it should be. I don’t accept my pain and am trying to find what is causing it. If my pain doesn’t go away it is not my fault that it won’t. I am having some relief from medication. And also weekly talks with a professional. I still am trying to find out what is causing me pain. I will not accept the pain I am in as my fault at all.
I will not punish myself in any way. If I have to go the rest of my life in unbearable pain and die in pain I will. I will never condemn or punish myself though as I would never condemn or punish anyone else. I am in the worst pain I could possibly feel because I don’t want to live or exist.
I don’t know. It feels so hollow and pointless. I’m tired of the pain
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I am tired also. Sleep helps. I just want to know what is causing my pain. I want a reason for I am a person who likes to reason. I am doing a lot to give me energy as the pain drains me. I take vitamins and eat well and get sleep. I see no purpose for my pain.
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I don’t even know. I don’t know what’s even wrong. It’s like life suddenly lost meaning and color. Like I died on the inside
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Are you on any antidepressant?
No just abilify
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Perhaps you should talk to your doc? It sounds like you are struck by indifference and depression.
I’m on paxil!
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Idk. I need something to change. It truly feels like I could have a heart attack with the amount of stress and pain I’m in. My chest hurts . It’s just anxiety.
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What is it that you want to change?
It seemed to have started when I just got super busy with obligations and took on a bit too much. Nothing about my life is depressing me besides my mental health right now, and I’m not that busy now.
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Ok, I understand!
At least you tried, that is the only thing that matters. It’s more than what I’ve done in 11 years.
Anxiety sucks! I know how it is.
Perhaps you need some ‘alone time’ to think things through? Get your thoughts sorted out!?
I think you need to talk to your doc about getting on an antidepressant. I wouldn’t function without them.
Also, it doesn’t matter if we don’t succeed, as long as we learn from our mistakes! I’m still working on that myself. I have done so many mistakes I lost count. I have been stupid, selfish, egocentric, mean and done so many stupid things. I live in regret but it’s ok. I’m human and I’m growing. So are you!
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I call this negative symptoms of SZ I actually came out of this situation a bit.
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This website helps me when I can’t tell what is wrong. It is sort of a troubleshooting guide to make sure I didn’t forget a basic human need.
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We all need help sometimes and we all need someone to lean on sometimes. It isn’t being a burden, it’s being human.
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