I couldn’t have told you why i threw all of my ■■■■ away and went walking into the wilderness during psychosis.
So, halfway into the wilderness i was like “wtf am i doing? i better go back and get my stuff.”
I don’t know, i just threw it all away and went walking to nowhere. I walked for miles and miles.
I was just prompted to shed all personal belongings and leave basically. Couldn’t do it though, when death sank it’s teeth into me again i had to go back. This survival horseshit is ruining everything.
Maybe you would like to travel somewhere? I know its not the same as throwing everything away and leaving to never return, but it sounds like you could enjoy a change of scenery??
I tried once to throw away all my stuff and leave it all behind. But i got tired and didnt want to sleep outside I think i thought that if i lost all my stuff and left i would lose all my problems. But it just creates new problems.
Someone told me ‘escape behaviour’. I walked to highway once and was going to walk forever husband found me. I just want to stay at hotel room sometimes. Can’t do tasks when really unwell or be around people. Slept in a parking lot once overnight. Went to emerg once asking them for hope wanting to live in my van for some reason and had stuff in my van. Also have driven to remote places and sat in silence in car to cope and feel all peace. Even in driveway. Can’t be around family when sick. Even though love them so much. Overstimulated.
I am glad you didn’t wander off and get lost @pansdisease! I gave everything I owned away a few years ago because I was preparing for suicide. I am not suicidal right now but I remember the feeling very well. All I have left is a few boxes. Down from a 5 bedroom house. Never know what I will do when I am psychotic. That’s why I take my meds!
I think i thought that if i lost all my stuff and left i would lose all my problems. But it just creates new problems.