I Didn't Know My Diagnosis

For a few years now, I thought my diagnosis was schizoaffective disorder, butI got my medical records from the VA today because I had to send info to Social Security and it’s paranoid schizophrenia all over the paperwork. I wonder how I could have made this mistake. Maybe I just heard them talking about it or something.

Sometimes even when I’m crystal clear on a memory, it turns out to be different that what anyone else knew about. Kinda reminds me of the old Ghetto Boys rap song about your mind playing tricks on you. Guess it doesn’t matter because I’m on the right meds, but it is kinda funny. I often suspect quite a few of my memories in life are a little off as well.

I think pdocs don’t tell you everything. My pdoc has not told me I’m sz, I’ve realized it myself. I got schizophreniform 3 years ago. But when I decreased meds or just because of nothing get symptoms again and need to adjust or change meds. I’ve had 3 different meds and my pdoc told me I HAVE TO tell her at once when something unusual is going on, not wait for it do disappear by it self, because it gets worse all the time, it won’t go away by it self. But she hasn’t told me my dx.

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You may be right. They sometimes ask me questions about my understanding of what illness I have, but they don’t really mention it themselves often at all. It’s kind of weird. I always feel weird at the VA anyway because they know more about me than I do. Maybe that’s good sometimes.

My label has changed so much over the years. ADD, ADHD, PTSD, bi-polar, Schizoaffective,…

I had to quit worrying about my label. Even to this day my "label"diagnosis is in flux. Doctors still don’t always agree. I had to sort of give up and just go with what works to keep me functional and lucid.

Some shirts I’m a medium long, other shirts I’m a large. What ever the label, I still need a shirt.


They say given the same facts 6 different pdocs will give 6 different diagnoses. A lot depends on how much emphasis the pdoc places on various individual symptoms. I have had schizophrenia/schizoaffective/personaity disorder NOS/ and currently paranoid personality disorder.
Apart from a brief spell in 83 as schizophrenia with PD, it took them 30 years to go down the personality disorder route.
At the end of the day diagnosis is fraught with problems and what’s more important is are you getting good treatment for your set of symptoms.


I have to agree with the other posters. My label keeps changing every so often. I actually craved a definitive diagnosis, for my own and my family’s piece of mind.
Not so I can publicly shout it from the rooftops, but so that I can put my heart and soul into getting better.
My current dx is Schizoaffective Disorder, but before had been unipolar depression, psychotic depression and psychosis NOS.

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