I deserve to be punished

I don’t deserve to be loved.
I don’t. I don’t really deserve love.
I’ve done horrible things to people and I should be punished for what I’ve done in the past.
I hate myself with a passion and I should be punished.
I want to throw my memories into a bin and I want other people to hate me.
I want people to torture me so that I could suffer for what I’ve done.
It’s all my personality and that’s why I was abused.
It’s my fault. It’s absolutely my fault and I deserve it.
I just hate myself. I absolutely do.

wow, hopefully you don’t get treated as badly as you say

cuz then they’ll say you liked it.

Interestingly, I was already treated like this for “liking it” and then my mom went on to say that it was based on my personality. This was how my childhood abuse went on for a number of years.

I’m sorry to hear that. I think you might need some therapy.

Thank you, @Daze. I’m getting therapy these days but it’s just not helpful on burying my memories.
I’m really really tired but I’m running on excess energy to prevent myself from having dreams about it.

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Feel for ya. Nobody said life was gonna be easy, it could have been a lot kinder to me too.

I’m sorry, @Daze. I feel your suffering. Life is not easy…
I seriously hope that life will be kinder from now on for you. :love_letter:

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