I found I have a deep issue with my personality
I cant defend myself even if I was right
Resulting in losing many chances in my life including my rights
I dont why I feel terrified when I am in a situation to defend my self or If I get into any kind of trouble
I’m the same. I can’t defend myself. It’s one of the core reasons why I developed SZ. I’m quite sure of that. I have been so bullied, even by my x-gf and friends.
I can’t believe shitty genes like this exist. I’m always crawling at the bottom. Always beneath everyone else.
I can’t get angry. I always have anxiety. I become weak when I confront people. It sucks!
Somone stole from me more than 1500 $
And I even cant get it back
I reported to the police they took my words but I talked in a confused manner … I found out they just dismissed my report
Now If I face any similar situation I just blame myself and surrender to the unknown
People just want to laugh at me. It makes them feel comfortable or like they have power over me or I am totally controlled. Staying in the board & care gave me some confidence to stick up for myself and fight back but some shitty people after that pretty much stole that from me.
I will try to limit my time with people to ten minutes.
Even my own family.
Sitting uncomfortable for a hour or more n unable to defend yourself or speak up isn’t what I want for myself so I will try to tell people I/you can’t stay for more than ten minutes because it exhausting to me.
They may think all kinds of things but I need boundaries to protect myself.
Specially since I can’t stand up for myself.
I’m comfortable with my boyfriend but uncomfortable around most other people.
I was beautiful with n comfortable n at home with my x too.loved being with him 24/7.
Every moment precious.
My own dad i can feel uncomfortable with and he has saidbad things so I think only ten minutes for him and we only see each other twice a year or so.
Don’t thinkme so maybe seem to tantrums that i should not have it as good as I do.