I can see myself killing myself one day

I’m just fed up, i’m not symptomatic, if i was i would be delusional but not suicidal. Either thats going to happen or i’ll get better and i just can’t see myself getting better and off meds. To think i’ve got it good too compared to people out there i don’t know how they do it.

Are you taking abilify or an antidepressant

Was on abilify didn’t like it. No antidepressant they can cause PSSD so no way on that one.

When I am depressed, dark thoughts enter my head - I am pretty depressed lately, but I try to push out thoughts on death away from my head when I can.

Life is just too precious for that nonsense


Your right but i just need off these med’s. Thing is i’m prepared to relapse as many times as it takes to try and get some hold on reality it’s just i don’t want to hurt anybody and i’ve come close to seriously injuring people in the past.

Hang in there.

I’d work on improving your life before thinking about throwing it away.

Glad to hear you’re not currently suicidal.

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Your right. I just can never let go of the idea of getting off med’s. I can have a go at coming off but have to wait years yet until the doc allows it. I really need to stay away from alcohol because the next day is unbearable for me.

You are absolutely kidding yourself
Don’t give up when you haven’t even got as far as accepting you have an illness…
It’s very much a fact that repeated psychosis won’t progress you further and further into being well, quite the opposite
Untreated psychosis makes the illness worse
Meds are the only thing proven to work as a cure for schizophrenia

My sister is suicidal. In fact when I was in hospital and absconded she stabbed herself because I was in danger and our middle sister was hit by a car when she absconded
I was having a great time
To come off meds is putting yourself at risk and others
You could endanger someone’s life idk get behind the wheel of a car while unfit to drive for example
And you won’t even be yourself, you’ll be like you on a strong bad acid trip
Worried and very scared for you because a lot of schizophrenics do commit suicide
Alcohol is another great way of doing it

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You said you’re not symptomatic…

So I guess that would me you’re well.

What’s really making you think like this?(if you don’t mind me asking)

I’ve spent some of my most miserable times when I was alone in an apartment with every creature comfort met. There have been times when I was alone on the road, and for a while I was happy. When I am alone in an apartment my mind gets dark. There have been times when I wanted to kill myself too. Where I am now I don’t have a roommate in my apartment, but I have enough contact with people to keep from going bonkers. Maybe you could work on getting some support. Check out your local community mental health center. They might not have much, but they have a few resources to help you.


Ever since i started treatment i just changed. Everything i liked about myself is gone, i feel like i can’t do anything and the sexual side effects are a major problem for me I think i could handle this if it wasn’t for them.

try prolixin (fluphenazine generic) that’s what I’m on and I can’t even tell I’m on anything. no sexual side effects either.


Thanks jukebox it is an option. I’ve tried 6 antipsycotics up to now, Risperidol, Seroquel, Amisulpride, Abilify, Clopixol and now Depixol.

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There have been a couple of look-me-in-the-eye friends in my life that showered me with eye-to-eye respect. I began to see my inner living being as they see me. Now it is harder to go to a full, head-on, no looking back, 10 to straight zero personality core. Now I go to safe places —nature to reading material and art to humanities-- I made and I am my own drill sergeant.

I take everything day by day. All of my past crises toppled over by hardships in life, grieving and coping and meeting the grade of some type of human condition, it can be easy for me to run from my safe places. But I haven’t. I see the living being I comprise. I am just right for me, even with intrusive thoughts.

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You might want to look at adjusting your life a little bit to make it more bearable. Certain foods, vitamins and exercise might help. Stay off drugs that distort your reality and make you feel worst, at least for awhile or monitor yourself. Good friends can cheer you up and family.


Keep trying medication and see if you can get to a health center. It may not have a lot of resources but most do have emergency assistance.

Good luck.


I can’t think of one very profound, all-powerful reason that I would tell myself I must kill myself. It’s not like that, so stop trying to reason. It happens because you’re ■■■■■■. With all things, food is the answer. Laugh if you want to, but I have found that eating good, nutrious wonderful food keeps the mind body and soul together.


Yeah, jukebox, I felt the same way after being on prolixen for years. Not at first but after about ten years.


I’ve saw myself killing myself many times in the past…but for now I’m happy that I never did. I now respect life and I want to grow old to see more beautiful and interesting things in this live. One thing I want to be part of in this live is to discover the real origin of life.


I tried to kill myself when I was 19. It didn’t work out like I expected. I suggest not killing yourself- turn that death instinct outwards and go ■■■■ ■■■■ up. Try doing something that requires rage, like fighting or heavy lifting and see if you really want to die or if you will put up a fight.

Or pick a fight with a stranger and lose on purpose.

Sort of kidding, sort of not.

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