Are you diagnosed with intellectual disability since you were born? If not its only sz and afaik its from a lack of dopamine in certain brain areas. Thats what my psychiatrist told me. No brain damage.
I mean you have sz cognitive symptoms and not intellectual disability.
I think, that it came later, not since i am born yeah… but i was having problems to understand many things already at the age of 10…
My father was occupied to beat us, there was not even a care about our minds, it was the terror at home…
My pdoc wrote in my file, that my intellect and memory are oppressed by the schizophrenia…
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Yes so its the sz and not intellectual disability. Ppl are born with intellectual disability but not with sz.
There are also meds in research to fix sz cognitive symptoms.
Yeap, its the sz in my case i think…
You dont believe in the efforts for me to feel better, isnt it? 
tbh, i am more than fed up by the meds… i take mines, but the docs dont offer more…
One pdoc was asking his colleague if there is some med, who could make me “softer”… and this colleague said, that no…
You can try therapy with a psychologist. It didn’t help me but it may help you. It helps some ppl.
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But meds for everything??? For my paranoia, for my negatives, for my cognitive deficits, for my depression, for my conversion disorder? Mhm… idk… its too much this…
Sorry maybe i was hard on that one with you, but they tried everything on me for ten years…
I hate yhe pain, as i feel it even now, but in the same time, i see some small progress since i try to be a better person and to become free too…
I am traumatized by ten years of psychiatry with no results…
Sorry aziz if smth… I’ll see if the pain will be too much or will last still, this part is hard yeap…
My friends also think, that the zyprexa already helps me,cause i was very aggressive before, verbally and almost physically… now, this stopped but i am still a cripple inside…
My current doc says, that i have the crutch now and that its up to relearn to walk again as if i was amputated by a leg…
I never tried before to fight…
But apparently, my fight will be lonely i think… i make all run away…
Tbh, i just want to see what will hapoen to my brain with hhis minimum of meds…
Fukk the pain yeah!!! But its sure, that it makes me act badly… youll think, that i am not well treated still maybe, ive trusted the docs for 10 years, i am in shock by them now…
Yeah, but now i risk to lose everyone around me, thats my paranoia…
Sorry aziz if i was too tough with you, i still suffer from inner anger and even meaness tbh 
am not proud, but maybe its only up to me to become better, no?
What a stubborn asss i am too yeah…
All of us to some degree, or other, are reliant on others , technically speaking. However up to a certain point we’re described as ‘living independently’. I’ve lived on my own since my wife died in 2005. Without support it was a slow descent into self neglect. My stepdaughter did what she could when she visited every 6 months or so.
She tried time and time again to get me to move near her,but my fear of change kicked in. It a greater fear,that of newsby tower block was going to be knocked to,rather anxiously agree to move.
My s/dau did everything to make things go smoothly .Help was put in place to keep my flat clean. She comes with me to doctor’s appointments. Is informed about anything happening with the housing association. Pre my back being bad,and pre Covid, she took me shopping. Nowadays I send her a list, and she does the shopping for me.
She’s currently doing all she can to get me moved to a more suitable place, after the falls I had.
I think I could be described as ‘living independently with quite a lot of support’
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Thanks for the answer, firemonkey…
My fear mainly is just, that i am mainly rubbish now to my surroundings, thats it… I often am in pain and idk if i am made now to be among other human beings ive decided to push my struggle now, to stop seeking for more meds and try the efforts now, but idk if I’ll do it like that… For my doc, i am already treated but he also knows that i was yotally given up for years and that ive tried everything with the meds, so he lets me a bit to fight without more meds, he is scared to offer more now i find and i try just the struggle now…
But i am a rubbish now, as ive said it, idk if the others will handle me like that for long…
Its ok I was busy and had to leave. I said try therapy with a psychologist not only meds. For me therapy did not work so I am relying on meds.
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Its hard to have been unhappy till hell and just sick since i know myself… 
even some of my friends didn’t even respect me i guess… my sister called me a zombie in my back too…
I probably even still have the wrong idea of what is to feel fine… i just had some sick ambitions too…
Ok, its not my fault maybe… my family situation was the pure terror, you cant even imagine…
I wonder if the dostoevsky saying, that “the only hell on earth is when you cant love anymore” applies to me? … i guess so… hard…
I am getting old, my best years passed already and i was so sick in this time, that its unbelievable… i couldnt even talk, neither walk properly…
Yeah, thats it… i am still here every day 
and i am just trying to change my situation now, for real lol… its strange, all this is strange… i probably made everyone run away from me… maybe i was like a wall idk… maybe you saw me yoo how silly i was… yeap… my fight was tiring too…
Hugs 
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Sorry you have to struggle so much. Feeling like a burden sucks especially when you can’t completely take care of yourself. It’s definitely not your fault. There are millions of people who need assistance. I have a hard time accepting my illness or not feeling guilty. My therapist basically wanted me to accept that it’s a brain disease. I like to watch nde accounts cause they are interesting. The last one I watched mentioned earth, and how it’s not a place that is easy. Maybe there’s a reason for all this, and that could bring some comfort.
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