I annoy people

I try not to. But I do. I try to tone kyslef down nut I don’t. I’m not good at making friends. I’m too self conscious but if I’m not then I’m too outgoing.

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You’re actually an interesting person with a good heart. Stop beating up on yourself!

:blush:

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Believe it or not I have gotten better over the past few years. I know I still beat myself up a lot but definitely not as bad as I used to. I’m gland you think I’m interesting. I often worry that I’m just bland and annoying. Or too weird and annoying.

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I don’t think you are annoying

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If I do get annoying or too much will you let me know? Just give me a little reminder and tell me to tone it down a little?

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I’m aggressively social but I’ve gained more than I’ve lost. Yeah it’s tough to fail but it’s great to make friends and such. I can still be annoying to some but stuff them. I’m actually just a gregarious person and I’ve a lot to give…

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Sure no problem. I think everyone is entitled to an opinion, unless it’s really outrageous.

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To me you do have a lot to give but not in an overbearing or weird way. I think you have a lot of experience to speak from and a lot of wisdom to give. I like that. From pists I’ve seen it seems like you like giving out your opinions but you aren’t demanding about it rather it’s just a suggestion based off experience

I am, uh, legendary for my bluntless in this community. No worries there.

:wink:

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Thank you. It’s appreciated but it’s nice to connect. Listen and learn. Most interactions with humans is about listening and you soon learn what from most people. It just takes some dedication and be you. We are all different and I know way more weird people who aren’t sz for sure.

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I have gotten good at that. Especially in groups of people I much prefer to listen and observe rather than contribute. I know to many it might seem weird but I like seeing how people interact. I like watching mannerisms and seeing how they change once they’re around other people. I like comparing how someone talks and what words they use verses what other people use and how they talk. I like observing interactions and peoples emotions and thought processes.

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I’m definitely a people watcher, if I’m in public alone I like watching others. I like eavesdropping just to know what makes someone laugh and comparing it to what makes another laugh. Again I know its probably weird but its just something I do. Observing and listening and paying attention to others became a second nature to me. More of an instinct than anything else.

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Yeah. I am not different but I’m successful socially. I can talk under water as they say over here. I just don’t shut up and most conversation is about listening and replying to the right cues. I’ve always been a talker since a small kid even with the prodromal sz symptoms.

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I know from an outsider perspective I seem okay. I’m good at talking to people who I know I won’t interact with regularily. The more I want to know and be friends with them the more awkward I get. I always rwmember adult family members saying how well I intwract both both adults and children but thats just that I’m a huge empath.

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I apologize for the poor typing.

Yeah it’s tough. I think that feedback loop is what kills you. You start to overanylise what is what and where you stand rather than just focus on what the subject or conversation is. Sz people tend to overthink everything and I can relate. Before meds that was me for sure when it came to women. Then I’d get paranoid and I’d think all these scenarios that didn’t exist.

Keep trying. It’s worth it in the long run.

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Feedback loop? Ive heard it but I’ve never gone into depth. Is it like your own feesback that you give yourself?

I definitely overthink situations. My mond likes to come up with situations that would most likely never happen but it also focuses on them.

Feedback loop is where your listening and understanding is either good or overloaded. Ie. You get too much information back or you start to overthink things.

When I’m paranoid …ie under stress…I think about every single word in a converstation. It’s processing way too much information and coming to conclusions that aren’t necessarrilly right. My spelling is bad too!

You get more information in than your able to process in a normal conversation…

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Okay I see what youre saying. It’s almost like rather than looking at a whole conversation and the context you focus on a sentence and the exclusive meaning of that sentence even if that’s not neccesarily what the person meant?

@rogueone what u said makes the most sense. trauma and illness can create feedback loops…as far as feedback loops, I think my memory has created its own sort of feedback loop or maybe thats part of how memories work.

say that time were infinite, but there was a finite amount of consciousness and energy–how much energy would it take to grasp an infinite universe or a larger expanding universe without putting time into the equation–we create loops of information over-top of other loops of information

so the universe is probably like an ever-expanding spider-web of feedbackloops overlapping and stacked like pancakes on top of each other soon to be uselessverse.

oh so uselessverse

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