things aren’t great with me now but much better than they were. I have to fight the urge to look back and sometimes all the way back to the very very too difficult times…
it is hard after all these years to convince myself that the future might hold very sweet things that will make me happy.
I am bitter. very bitter about all I went through. it is hard for me to resolve it all.
judy
@ifeelblessed we are all hopeful of better things to come in our future. I’m sorry to hear that you are so bitter about the past. I wish I can think of something to say that can make it all go away for you. You are truly a great asset for this forum and I wish you many blessings for your future and I hope that you’ll feel much better soon.
I can be bitter sometimes. It sucks. Just live well, it is the best revenge for what this illness has done to us. I like the story my mom told me about her Jewish neighbor growing up- he was a holocaust survivor and drive a new Mercedes Benz coupe. She asked him how he could drive a German car and he said “living well is the best revenge.”
It’s like how I am doing very well studying psychology despite being mentally ill. It’s ironic and it makes me happy.
I will never really be the same. Every once in a while I just think about all of the pain we people with schizophrenia endure and it gets to me and makes me cry.
I am hell bent on doing all I can to undo what this illness does to us all.
I take the GRE tomorrow which will decide my future. If I replicate my practice test scores, I will likely get into a clinical psychology graduate program.
Life is still worth living. There is light at the end, we just have to keep moving forward. My life is greatly improved and I used to believe that it was beyond repair.
The good times are even better due to the bad times. The bad times are like exams to me- they test my coping skills and challenge my conviction which I place in my ambitions.
I sometimes have to look back just to remember what I am fighting for. I do what I do because I want to help people who are where I used to be. I used to be down at the bottom with an empty bottle of whiskey.
Things seem to be getting better for you. It’s perfectly reasonable to be bitter but I wouldn’t let it dominate you.
Thank you for all the positivity you bring here.
For me to be bitter is not rational… There is no one to blame. I can’t really pinpoint what it is that caused this.
It still seems real as hell… All day everyday. I try to find reassurance in rationalizing it’s not real, but my mind just can’t see it that way.
The world is becoming a better place every year. I’m glad to be alive to see the sliver of progress I’ll witness in my life. Both in the world around me and in myself and other people.
Hang in their Judy. Be positive and in a few years you’ll have a lot more distance between your past and your current mind.
I find some things good in the present. Whatever they are. Mostly just little things.
dear Judy, the mind remembers the sadder things more than all the good that you have had at the same time as the more difficult times along the way. “stop and smell the roses” they say? I just buy myself flowers for the table now to cheer me up. that’s about as good as it gets for me.
**Dear Judy~
Its ok to grieve the past. Just dont get stuck in it. They`re just pages in your history that are already gone. 
**
When are you taking that road trip? Spring is here…
It got put on hold because Angie didn’t get her new job she planned to. There is still hope because she is still applying for jobs. the one she really wanted is dragging their feet. It’s disappointing. I go to the dentist on friday to see what is going to need to be done. I’m excited.
beautiful mortimermouse. I am really proud to be on this forum with you.
thanks for all your words. judy
thanks for all the compliments and encouragement fellowman. I appreciate your kind sentiment. I hope we all feel much better soon. who knows? maybe a cure is coming!!! judy
Sometimes, I look back on my life and find myself bitter about some things. I find myself wishing that I made better choices. I’ve tried to move on and not hold any grudges. It just best to leave the past in the past and move forward with your life.
muzikos. thanks for the positive influence.
I am finding that some authorities are not quite so bad as I had thought and I am trying to put away all my anger towards them.
not everybody wears their heart on their sleeve so to speak. but their hearts are true hearts anyhow.
judy