I am too stressed and I’m sorry

I have been feeling like I am a fake schizophrenic. What if I have been faking this whole time? This on top of feeling like I have to die in order to save the world is making me feel sick. I can’t calm down. I feel so guilty and anxious. For faking and for not wanting to kill myself. I am scared to kill myself even though I’ve been feeling like I don’t have a choice. The beings said they would never leave me alone again if I didn’t tell both my mom and my friend that I was faking without mentioning them by 9pm Wednesday. I didn’t do it and now they won’t leave me alone. They say I am a fake and that I have to die. I can’t handle this stress.

I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. It is 6:14am. I am still tired but I feel so bad.

One voice tells me to die, constantly.
Another voice supports me and tells her to shut the ■■■■ up.
2 days now I’ve been hearing “die die die”

Don’t you have any friendly and supportive voice/being?

I’m sorry @Om_Sadasiva. It is hard having voices telling you to die. The beings tell me to die and sometimes to hurt myself. It is stressful.

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Some of them say nice things but those beings haven’t been around much lately.

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Maybe they are influenced by your mood.
If you feel down, you will hear depressive voices.
When you are happy, do they change?

Yeah come to think of it when I’m happier there are more kind beings. There are always mean ones but I miss the nice ones.

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I need to calm down but I can’t.

Does anyone else ever feel like they are faking? How do you deal with it? And how do you cope with voices that tell you to kill yourself? I am feeling like I should kill myself. I don’t want to be a bad person and I don’t want to destroy the world.

If you’re hearing things, that’s enough. You don’t have to have the other symptoms, you can qualify for a diagnosis without them.

The only way I have known to deal with voices telling me to kill myself is to get to my psychiatrist and beg for help. It doesn’t work like it should but I don’t know what else to do. These things come in episodes so I just try to ride it out when they’re telling me that.

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That’s the thing though. I don’t hear the beings. They talk to me in my thoughts. I feel like I am faking and I try to make them stop, just stop, but I can’t. They won’t leave me alone. I should just be able to stop. They tell me I have to die to save the world. Some say I will destroy the world, others say I am the sacrifice. There are many different things they say, but there is one bottom line; I have to die. I’m so scared. I don’t want to go dark side. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to be a bad person.

I don’t know why I bother posting. No one can save me from my fate. No one can comfort me. I’m not gonna just stop feeling like a fake. I’m not just gonna stop feeling like I have to die. I can’t handle what’s happening in my mind so I run to you guys. I’m sorry.

I recently started experiencing same thing with thoughts. I’ve just ignored them. Boot camp taught me to essentially ignore words. When you get called everything in the book it stops fazing you after a while

I’m sorry you get called names but I’m glad you are overcoming it. You are better than me. My problem, whatever it is, isn’t even that severe so I feel bad for struggling so much. I wish you the best.

You have it hard too. Don’t downplay ur illness.

What if I don’t even have an illness? What if I am a fake? What then? If I didn’t have any beings things would be much clearer.

Have you let your pdoc know how you’re feeling?.The stress you’re under from the constant negative voices and the lack of sleep need to be addressed.

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I always used to feel like a fake. People said I was using my illness as a crutch. Names like loser, failure, jerk, liar, selfish all hit me all the time and I’m still trying to get past believing I’m all those things. Have you ever considered that you feel sicker than anyone on here right now. That’s not normal buddy, healthy people don’t feel like that. Your definitely ill. Probably, it sounds like one of the worst places I’ve ever been, and I’ve been in some dark places. Yoh should go to your doctor and trust there is some good in people, and trust you’ll find them some where along your trip through the mental health recovery process, and just totally open up to a doctor. Just lay it all out there.They have always helped me somehow.

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No I haven’t. The last time I saw my pdoc I was doing well. I don’t know when I will see him again. My mom says that if I tell my pdoc that I’m having beings tell me to kill myself then I’ll have to go to the hospital. I don’t think my mom wants me to tell him how I’m feeling. My mom doesn’t want me in the hospital and I don’t want to be in the hospital. My problem is mild. I should be able to deal with it on my own and my mom agrees. I can’t though because I’m a piece of ■■■■.