I act all smiley and inside I’m crying. I’m all presentable on the outside and inside I’m rotten. I hug my husband and yet inside I have Alien telling me I want him dead. Have thoughts placed in my head to … to… I’m so hypocrite I don’t deserve to live. I must die not my husband and yet I’m not suicidal I think. But why am I so cruel so bad? And act all good on the outside. But inside think of hubby’s death. Not wanting it but alien says I do and I get confused do I or not and yet I’m holding hubby loving him and inside I’m all rotten like a tomb.
I’m sorry I’m posting such negative posts, I’ll try to post positive when I’m feeling better
What you’re going thru is temporary. I know it’s awful, but remember that it’s the illness @Hadeda.
Talk to your doctor about what you’ve been going thru. He or she will prescribe a treatment plan that will help you feel better.
Follow the treatment plan and give it some time. You will feel better as the new treatment plan starts to work. Things will get better. Please hang in there and try not to hurt yourself or anyone else.
I am like you ,dear, except that i dont have voices, but thoughts… But believe me, we are still good people. Maybe we even suffer, cause we were better than the others you know? The real bastar*** dont have remords, neither guitl. I lived with the guilt for decades, its not cool… Dont go there, you are a good person no matter what you feel… what you feel, is your illness, just know that…
And the normies are hypocrites too, but they are able to defend themselves… Its hard for everyone, some suffer from guilty conscineces as hell, some are just criminals, which dont care about nothing…
Just dont beay yourself, the guilt happens to me, while i tried to be a good person but the others just saw me as ill and i have poor support environment…
You are a good person, believe me! Hugs
You need to call your pdoc immediately (do they have someone on call on the weekends? mine does) or get to the ER. You need some kind of treatment or change in meds. You definitely need to be somewhere safe if you are having these kinds of thoughts and voices, and they are stressing you out. It sounds like you are having trouble holding onto rational thought and insight.
Intrusive thoughts are a problem for many of us. Try not to let them get the better of you. This site is a great place to vent, but try to stay positive, for your own sake. Negative thoughts hurt.
I know Alien doesn’t exist. But let’s say he does. In this case, Alien deserves to die for talking such nonsense.
Keep repeating that: “I want my voices to disappear. I want them dead”. If praying helps you, then pray. But never talk to voices.
Alien is a spirit he’s only dies when I do. I’m stuck with him for life. But yes I wish he’d die. Not Sarah though, and she’s usually only around when Alien is
How come I got rid of all my voices then? If it was possible for me, why wouldn’t it be for you?
I think you pampering a voice so much, giving it a name and believing whatever it says - all that makes it linger. And obviously it has a bad influence on your thoughts and mood.