Do you think if it’s the best to try stop the klonopin while I still isolate because of my sz? Or it’s better to try to reduce when I have more life lol? 
I became so low on any stress, guys, this is my paranoid sz yeah…
I am paranoid right now, I even feel how my pupils are dilated, but at least, I have an energy lol…
It’s not a bad idea to try the klonopin only as a prn, isn’t it?
Anyway, maybe I’ll discover soon my heart heh 
I stepped down with Ativan, horrible but it worked
I am back on klonopin… It wasnt possible without… Idk if i am dependent now on it, but i cant be in such a paranoia as yesterday… I thought i was dying yesterday… I started to avoid everyone again, stopped going out for my walks… no way, i have my fear lol…
My ex pdoc was a very experienced and good doc in fact and she was allowing me the klon… I’ll have to convince my current doc, that i need it, he is quite against it, but i couldnt do it… I take it in the evenings, where my mental pain is bigger and i feel the calming effect even on the next day, where i am able to do some minimum of stuff now lol… My situation is quite bad, its not the moment i guess to make experiments now lol…
I’ve read many reviews from people with and anxiety and panic dosirder and even bipolar and they take this med long life and it helps them… They even cant function without it either lo, i am sick too, i ahve to make my peace on that lol…
For the hard fact, off klonopin i had such a constipation, that it started to get scary lol, i was really somatizing as hell without it lol…
Hugs to all!
It kicked out just now too heh 
But i should try to not think only about meds in fact… My current pdoc says, that i am still obsessive type of sz lol 
i should take my meds and just walk forward lol, thats how it should be lol…but for now, i’ll still have my isolation moments, i know it… You dont come out from total sickness ,which lasted 20 years like this… there was my loneliness too, this also makes crazy lol…
I hope that i wont turn into sleeping now, i’ll do stuff at my house now just like that - doped hehe 
anyway. I want to go to my hairdresser one of these days soon too yeap 
she knows that i am mi, so now i am a bit ashamed … but i ned a haircut. My hair grown a bit more, before i had it very short, but ill be better with longer hair now lol It gives smth to my plumpy face lol, i’ll make a small side fringe too
nothing else. I have to eat now and maybe i’ll take my shower.
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