OK, I watch some scary movies, where they show really bad people and what bad they are capable of…
But I had mostly ill friends in the past. I love them even still, cause they say, that they love me too, but some of them are currently in big scary episodes right now and they menace everyone around them…
And even, maybe I gained some enemies around my past illness, cause I was behaving strangely…
It’s just paranoia now, right? 
The most of the people are not capable of destroying me and harm me, right?
Idk, am just watching a TV movie now, where they show only bad people and I am still too weak, so I overthink paranoidly here…
The most of the people have a natural barrier against the evil in us, right? I hope so lol… me too, I aim now to be a better person… I was a bit verbally aggressive at my worst, but I don’t want to go back there anymore lol 
Maybe the movies are worse than the reality, right?
Yeah, I am just scared that someone will want to destroy my life or beat me or manipulate me hah… it’s smallly probable, right?
what movie are you watching anna?
Just one Bulgarian TV movie, where there are some bandits and other people, who are courageous (not as me), strong even in their bad behaviour and they even go against their own family members in order to achieve what they want badly… but they want bad things lol
I should chase this paranoia, right? The most of the people know what’s good in this life, right?
i like mellow movies, mostly comedies, i just seen one the other day, war dogs. have you seen it?
I should aim the no fear state and the peace of mind, right? The joy too, isn’t it?
To be scared here, alone at my home, that I have now unknown by me enemies, shouldn’t be my thinking right?
But there are really bad people out there, maybe I should get used to the risks and even know, that one day, I’ll die too…
Does someone here also had fear to be destroyed by unknown enemies?
Oh, it looks like a nice movie this war dogs, cool… I’ll probably see it one day 
OK, I am hooked on my paranoia now, idk if someone wants to really destroy my life…
Yeah, I am not courageous… but I was also dulled by too many meds for the past years 
So someone? You don’t think, that I have such an ennemies, which would like to kill me, beat me or even destroy my life?
Tbh, I try to gain in thinking too lately, but I am seeing horrific scenarios still sometimes… my brain is a mess right now, I feel that even physically…
You also had paranoia, that someone will want to destroy your life?
I feel as a coward though lol 
which I shouldn’t do, cause I knew the abuse in my family, they didn’t make of me a healthy person…
i doubt you have enemies that want to kill you… but i know the feeling though…
I totally get what you’re going through. Try to distract yourself with activities that have nothing to do with murder etc. I like watching Love It Or List It. It’s a reality tv show about couples decided whether to love their renovated home or sell it and move. It’s a great show for getting your mind off things. I watch it on Discovery+
Thank you, dears, both @lekkerhondje and @CoCo.
I really needed to hear, that no one will attack me, maybe the people are not what i think at my worst lol…
Now i am in pain again though, its something else… I just got tired, that i suffer every day still… I cant deal with problems in fact, i dont act…
I get paranoid when I spend too much time with family.
Everyone needs their space, I guess.
Hope this helps.
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