That’s me when I was younger. I didn’t think much of myself in high school. I didn’t have the looks that my friends had, I couldn’t stick up for myself. I was picked on. I was rarely bullied at school but my friends treated me like crap. They could be merciless. So my confidence wasn’t high. But you know what? I was strong, some people liked me.I did a lot of fun things. I did almost everything my friends did. And when we were getting along, life was great. I always felt different but in another way I felt equal. My Achilles Heel was girls. They rarely liked me. I liked them though. By the end of school my friend had somehow graduated into being accepted by girls. He left me behind. I guess when I got out of high school all I could think of was girls. I thought the best way to be was to sleep with a lot of girls. But OF COURSE the women around me had other plans and I wasn’t in them.The Holy Grail of my life was to be a “player”. During my drug years was my high point. I used women but they used me too. I had some luck. but it was hard. Asking women I knew for a date was like proposing marriage, they had to ponder for several days and through many phone calls if they would go out with me. But I’ve had friends in my illness. I always thought I was a cool guy for someone who wore glasses.
77nick77, I wish I had excellent English skills like you have to express what accumulated in my mind about my life experiences. I think you could start seeking a partner by dating someone in the reality. You are stable on meds, you are working, so you live a pretty normal life like the normal people. There are loads of people who are single out there , you should try it like jukebox did.
Thanks once again green6.