Husband laughing with friends on fb about a colleague with mental illness

He was let go about 3 years ago
Bipolar,
Now manic again and going round to see his colleges at work every day / buying scratch cards, being a women Hassler etc

They mean no evil
But I’m not comfortable
I have had my entire social group rewritten so many times by leaving early/ not finishing / kit being able to carry in

He is the nicest guy for miles, my husband
He is aware about me and how it makes me feel and him I talked about it
But that was before sniggering on messenger this eve

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could be peer pressure. Trying to fit in. I do the same. To be one of the guys especially around my best friend who’s the most macho guy and his put downs of obese people. Makes me feel uncomfortable but I put up with it

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Sometimes when people have anxiety about things their release is to laugh about it. I’m not saying it makes it right, but good people can do something like that and not really mean any harm. I’m sorry it hurts you. Maybe in a calm and kind way, you could gently let your husband know it hurts your feelings because mental illness is personal to you and let him know how it’s something a person can’t control.

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@ZmaGal. You said it. Humor is the way some people deal with stuff that they can’t deal with otherwise. It can hurt sometimes.

In that situation, if you respond to it with your own comeback, you are setting up that kind of conversation. He can come back with something worse.

You can starch his underwear. No just Jk.:wink:

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Yeah that’s wasn’t a cool thing to say, but hey maybe he just has a attitude against it because he has a hurdle of mental illness too, and deals with the negative of it and responded to it negatively idk though, I don’t think it was directed to you, probably wasn’t the best thing to say though.

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yes -
I think myself and husband are both the kind that will be upset participating
I normally abstain from putting someone down from a distance but i’m not in the workplace

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thanks.

I will discuss it again, but i think he’d be upset by everything - guess how I feel without me needing to say

We said a couple of things - i thought it was also very easy to take the piss when it’s not someone close to you

but to laugh at someone doing mad things?
but what people have always thought/ said about me on my way out of work or study places?
I mind a bit

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I don’t know if he is just playing along but he looked very very amused and was definitely enjoying laughing about this guy
i bet he has some guilt as well already

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I really believe to recover fully we have to laugh at our illness not in front of someone suffering. But I’ve done some pretty hilarious things from the outside anyway to me at the time we’re very serious and extremely painful. This illness is the weirdest thing and people on the outside don’t understand the pain. Our job is to get norms to understand the fact that we recover to different degrees and all deserve rational treatment from norms what they do and say around us is more important to us than ti most people. What they say behind our back is of little concern to me. People are generally on the not so good side so I don’t expect them to treat us any better than the other people they throw under the bus on a daily basis.

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One of my husband’s very best friend is a complete (asshole).

He was the best man in my wedding and I love him,

But the stuff he says pisses me off.

He constantly makes fun of (loudly) overweight people, poor people, and the mentally ill.

If my husband was like “don’t say things like that, you know Jenny has schizophrenia”, it would make things weird.

This guy knows I’m crazy, he’s just insecure and this is his coping habit.

Maybe that’s what’s going on here. One person instigated the whole thing out of insecurity and the rest are just playing along in an effort to not be a debbie downer.

You know what I mean?

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I would have a conversation with him about it. Just to make it clear that it hurts your feelings. If one person’s feelings are hurt then there is a problem for both.

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Politely tell him he’s being very foolish and he should open his eyes to you and yours, before popping off at the jaw about things he is to afraid to being to comprehend.

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