Thru therapy processing, I’ve become aware that my parents were pretty bad to me. I must reevaluate my whole past with them, tho I reckon I mustn’t condemn them altogether. They messed up big time, but they were human, not gods. Definitely not immortal. So now they’re gone, I’m free.
How do you and your parents get along?
My past with my parents was terrible. They used to beat me. But they were also brainwashed by my abuser… so i cant fully blame them
Now days we’re better we are slowly building our relationship into something healthy and understanding.
Thanks. I think a lot of my later years with my parents was compensation and coverup for some really traumatic (for me) stuff. Hard to forgive, now I see it more plainly.
They support me in many ways so people often try and shame me when I complain that they aren’t and were never there emotionally. They are my exact opposite because they grew up in a stoic culture while I tend to dump my emotions all the time.
My mother is inconsistent in her opinions on things. She recently lost her father and sister and has for some reason become very concerned with her extended family. While she shows affection for her immediate family by providing financial support, she finds it hard to hide that her heart lies with them and not us. Her older sister also influenced her to have a religious awakening, and her views have become so extreme in this that she treats people now, not like valuable individuals, but as either obstacles or allies in her struggle to get into heaven. Even her children. Kinda twisted, huh?
I’m not one of those people who likes to sit around and bellyache about my parents messing me up as a child though. Many people overcome adverse early life experiences like that and have no baggage from it.
I had thin skin, I suppose. I didn’t take well to sexual assault with the enema kit. And it’s for a reason I’ve lived this long to get it out in therapy. I just have to get past this baggage and forget my parents existed, mostly.
Its hard to forgive. I was bitter and angry for many years. I still struggle with what happened to me.
And truly forgiveness is good. But in reality it’s better sometimes to just focus on moving on from the past.
Just try to let go of the anger and the hurt and pain. It happened and you must accept that but just know that you don’t have to let it control you.
I hope you heal well
Yes, there’s release in forgiveness. As for anger, there’s that, too. I need something physical, like a drum to beat it out on or something. Get it out and move on. Thanks for your kind words. People can be heaven on earth as well as hell.
I guess I’m lucky I never was physically abused by them. They rarely if ever laid a finger on me, so I guess I got out of childhood unscathed. Lucky me.
Some families are more barbaric than others. My brother-in-law used to whip his kids with a belt… I think verbal and psych abuse isn’t necessarily getting off lucky. It’s all abuse, but like Noise said, we have to forgive in order to unburden ourselves – the ones that count.
When you violate someone’s physical boundaries it has an effect on many levels, I think its much more damaging, especially when done by someone who you are supposed to rely on and when they justify their actions using their power and authority over you as an adult. As a child you may feel like you even deserved what you got. Early life experiences like that can warp your mind in irreversible ways, you don’t have a normal reference point. It even makes psychosis more likely.
Check this out
Read it; thanks. Yeah, being violated so early in life can do real damage. Yet I think my mom had sz as well, so I had a genetic predisposition, possibly. Dunno. My therapist wants to end my sessions sometime soon. My insurance, I suppose, won’t pay for a whole lot more. Meantime, there’s this forum, which has informed me a great deal. It’s interesting the comparison between PTSD and sz, also. It’s a wild world.
I had the same reconciliation just a moment ago today.
My Mom was not there and my Dad was the typical Dad. So it left me feeling (if only breifly) that I just want to be taken care of I guess.
I have to reevaluate everything I know and have come to know from growing up with my father as the main figure in my life. A lot of it is based on fear, and I have to reassociate the emotions. otherwise i just end up as a jerk.
My dad was a dufus, mostly. Steer him in the right direction and he was okay. My mom was the stubborn one. Neither of them was very smart, unfortunately.
we get on ok, i care for my mum bc she is deaf/blind, my dad died but i still have a relationship with him, i still want to make him proud of me and make him happy, i believe he looks over us and can see what i do, he isn’t really gone and he is still in my heart.
growing up my mums sight was ok but her hearing was bad and my dad use to joke about it, he was the good guy and my mum was the authority figure, if i got grounded for bad behaviour my dad would get me out of it early and i loved him for that.
as a child i looked very happy, always smiling and having fun, i dont know why i was chosen to get sz 
it must be punishment for a past life, i think i was conflicted by my mum and dad, i loved my dad but mums hearing got worse… its very confusing.
Haven’t seen my dad in over 10 years, and I don’t care to.
My mom and I always had a rocky relationship, until the last few years. She stresses me out, though…
I never knew my dad. My mom and I have always been really close. My mom is an amazing woman. I first got sick when I was 13. At that time my mom went back to school to be an Occupational Therapist. She worked full time to support us while going to school full time while being there for me with my multiple hospitalizations. I made several suicide attempts while psychotic and with severe depression. She was always there for me despite her full schedule. Even today she is there for me when the psychosis gets bad. 
My whole family was messed up, stopped talking to them when I was 18 and at that age i was pretty messed up, never really had any desire to have them in my life
Very good even if there are some problems, my mother is very psychotic and my father is too much haughty and authoritarian.
My relationship with my dad is strained at best, since he’s an alcoholic and never did much beyond barely make it at work until after my mother died. My mother died in 2010, and my relationship with her was mending as I aged even though she was awful when I was growing up. She enabled me and fed a lot of my delusions.
Mine is pretty rough. They were pretty awful to me growing up. I pretty much cut them out of my life but after my daughter was born I tried to let them back in. But I don’t think I want her to see how she’s second class compared to her cousins, so I’m about to cut them out of my life again. Mostly have already.